P*ONG Found to Be Small and Uneven; Monkey Bar Gets HammeredFrank Bruni appreciates Pichet Ong’s skill and creativity but finds his restaurant, P*ONG, in what will probably be a defining review, unequal to his talent: “Mr. Ong is an enterprising cook, but he doesn’t seem to be a seasoned restaurateur, and P*ong points out the difference.” [NYT]
Similarly, Paul Adams grants that FR.OG chef Didier Virot has “has a virtuosic ability with flavors,” but was less than thrilled with the restaurant. That’s about in keeping with most other reviews the place has had, which call out a few dishes but give it an “eh” otherwise. [NYS]
Randall Lane disliked the Monkey Bar so much that it’s amazing that he gave it two stars (out of six). “More often, though, the dishes were so unsuccessful that I had difficulty finishing them.” Eek. Not what you want to hear after a huge, expensive relaunch.[TONY]
The Other Critics
Hill Country Triumphs; Perilla Gets Measured Praise, Three Times OverPeter Meehan hails Hill Country as the barbecue to beat in New York, at least as far as beef is concerned: “[The deckle brisket] is a thing of balance and of beauty.” [NYT]
As much as Meehan liked the place, Steve Cuozzo may like it even more, not hesitating to crown it New York’s best: “Lots of New York places now claim to have ‘real’ barbecue, and some truly do. But until they catch up with Hill Country, they’re just blowing smoke.” [NYP]
15 East feels the glow of two-star approval, especially for its star octopus. Ushiwakamaru, though not as good, is cheaper, and that’s worth something. [NYT]
Mediavore
American Reclaims World Hot-Dog Record; Bruni Calls Out SietsemaAt a Nathan’s hot-dog-eating contest qualifier in Phoenix, American Joey Chestnut shatters the world record set by Takeru “the Tsunami” Kobayashi. [NYP]
In a rare critic-on-critic showdown, Frank Bruni comes down hard on Il Brigante, whose pizza the Voice’s Robert Sietsema called “the city’s most perfect evocation of the true Naples style.” Hardly, Bruni says. “Nothing about this pizza argued strongly for a trip outside your own neighborhood.” [Diner’s Journal/NYT]
Related: New Restaurant Not Just for Lonely Mountain People [Grub Street]
A critical roundup of the city’s lobster rolls decrees Ed’s Lobster Bar “the world’s best.” [NYP]
Related: Consider the Lobster Roll [NYM]
The Other Critics
Cuozzo Hammers the Shake Shack; Much Hodgson Love for InsiemeSteve Cuozzo uses his bully pulpit in the Post to come down hard on the Shake Shack, calling the place out for insanely long lines and “a hamburger that’s an also-ran at best.”
[NYP]
Related: Kyle Dureau Wants Shake Shack to Be Open 24/7 As Much As You Do [Grub Street]
Having weathered a major two-star review by Adam Platt, Insieme finally gets its first three-star one, from Moira Hodgson, who is impressed by how perfectly executed every dish is, lavishing special praise on one of the place’s more overlooked features, co-owner Paul Grieco’s wine list. [NYO]
Related: Italian, Old and New [NYM]
The Times gives Katz’s the full Frank Bruni treatment, and the place comes out of it with one star, much loving description, and an eerie semi-confirmation of our earlier report that the place might be sold. [NYT]
Related: Mother of Mercy! Is This the End of Katz’s? [Grub Street]
The Other Critics
Richman Lambastes Landmarc; Has Sietsema Lost His Mind?Robert Sietsema reviews what might be the most un-Sietsema-like place imaginable, a twee Williamsburg bistro called Juliette. “The snails in anise butter are fab, and so is the whole steamed artichoke flaunting a festive champagne vinaigrette.” Okay, call the FBI. The real Robert Sietsema has obviously been kidnapped. [VV]
“Think too much and you’ll find the place hard to like”: Alan Richman sees the new Landmarc for what it is – a stark, expensive, underachieving restaurant with few niceties of service or cooking – but still manages to find something nice to say about the steaks. [Bloomberg]
Related: Will Landmarc’s Downtown Cool Play Alongside Its Ritzy New Neighbors? [Grub Street]
Frank Bruni had a high old time at Resto, so much so that he gave the place a shocking two stars. Expect all future reviews to react to this hyperbole by taking pains to note the place’s shortcomings.[NYT]
Related: Brussels Sprout [NYM]
The Other Critics
Anthos Misses Its Mark; Provence’s First RaveUnlike Adam Platt, who thought Anthos inferior to Dona, Frank Bruni likes it better; he seems almost pained to have to deny the place a third star. But the drab room and overwhelmed fish keep Michael Psilakis’s dream of a three-star Greek restaurant from coming true — yet. [NYT]
Related: Greek Revival [NYM]
Time Out’s Randall Lane hits Williamsburg BBQ Fette Sau and is struck by how good some of the meats are, and how unbelievably bad the sauce is. That’s pretty much in keeping with what everybody else has said, but Lane is the first to make much-needed points about the effect of keeping pulled pork exposed in a chafing tray, and how ill-fit pork belly is for the smoke treatment. [TONY]
Related: Fette Sau’s Weird Williamsburg Barbecue Palace [Grub Street]
Moira Hodgson’s rave makes the relaunched Provence sound really, really good — a great omen for their future critical reception. The old Provence was good, but neither the service nor the food was on a level you would want to face a battery of critics with. [NYO]
The Other Critics
Wild Salmon Starts Its Upstream Journey Strongly; Craftsteak UpgradedAlan Richman has a few qualms about Wild Salmon – its reason for being, for example – but likes both the food (except for the sauces) and the service (when it’s not too friendly). Given how ready Richman is to knock restaurants, owner Jeffrey Chodorow has to feel pretty good about this one. [Bloomberg]
Related: Wild Salmon Swims Into View. Yes, ‘Pun Intended’ [Grub Street]
The newly revamped Craftsteak and Craftbar get rereviewed by Bruni, who awards the less than the white-hot former a much-needed second star, and the latter, “more or less back on track” after earlier troubles, a (borderline) single star. [NYT]
Time Out’s Randall Lane lays four stars (out of six) on Gilt, finding Chris Lee’s cooking admirable all around, if less risky than that of his predecessor, Paul Liebrandt, who still keeps popping up whenever the restaurant is discussed. [TONY]
Related: Gramercy Rehab [NYM]
The Other Critics
Love and Hate for the Inn LW12; Esca Pulls Even With BabboThe Sun’s Paul Adams considers the Inn LW12 an out-and-out Canadian restaurant, to a greater extent than anyone else has, and praises the poutine, a Québécois version of disco fries, along with the rest of the menu. [NYS]
Poutine aside, Randall Lane thinks the Inn LW12 is a snobby “poseur sanctuary” still carrying the taint of Lotus, owner Jeffrey Jah’s other place. [TONY]
Esca gets a third star from the Times, moving it even with Babbo, and reminding everybody that David Pasternack is not just Mario’s fish guy, but one of the city’s great chefs. [Esca]
The Other Critics
Anthos Gets a Rave; More Knocks for MorandiRandall Lane gives Anthos its first full-out rave, granting the restaurant five of six stars and writing about it in adoring terms. It’s a rare move for Lane, and a good omen for the more powerful critics still to come. [TONY]
At times, Alan Richman likes the food at Morandi a lot, but when it’s late and the place gets busy, he considers it to be a kind of restaurant hell. He won’t be going back after 9 p.m. “any time in my life.” [Bloomberg]
Paul Adams felt much the same about Morandi, calling out its fine fried foods but dissing its heavy pastas, “theme park” atmosphere, and lousy entrées. It’s unanimous: The critics all dislike Morandi. Meanwhile, Keith McNally is crying all the way to the bank. [NYS]
Related: Not So Bene [NYM]
The Other Critics
Morandi Takes Another Hit; a Haute Barnyard SpreeThe Four Seasons gets perhaps the most negative two-star review in the history of the Times; Bruni seems to think the stars were grandfathered in. A telling example of how reputation floats reviews. [NYT]
Meehan, meanwhile, visits a chowhound’s paradise, a Hindu temple in Flushing. [NYT]
Morandi takes another blow, this time from Time Out’s Randall Lane, who like our own Adam Platt, finds it overdesigned and unimpressive, albeit with a few decent dishes. [TONY]
Related: Not So Bene [NYM]
The Other Critics
‘New Yorker’ Backs Up the Chowhounds; Sietsema Uncovers a FoodThe New Yorker discovers Sripraphai, and though baffled by its vast and uneven menu, admits that the chowhounds were right to glorify the place. [NYer]
Sietsema provides his readers with a major service this week, guiding them through one of the city’s best and most baffling food courts in the Flushing’s J&L Mall [VV]
Rosanjin gets the two-star Bruni treatment in its first review, and seems to only have missed a third star by reason of anticlimactic later courses. Still, an auspicious start. [NYT]
The Other Critics
Dueling Views on Morandi; Varietal Taken to TaskMorandi gets absolutely slaughtered by Steve Cuozzo. Keith McNally has hardly received a bad review yet. [NYP]
Meanwhile, Moira Hodgson loves the place: “You’ll want to taste everything on this menu.” She seems to have liked all of it, with the possible exception of an overpriced veal chop. Did these two even go to the same restaurant? [NYO]
Bruni one-stars Varietal, calling the food creative but uneven and lambasting avant-garde dessert chef Jordan Kahn, who has enjoyed a lot of critical love. The desserts “don’t so much eschew convention as pummel and shatter it — literally, and often pointlessly.” [NYT]
The Other Critics
Anthos Broadsided, Gramercy Tavern HammeredBruni sympathetically reviews Nish, handing down two stars, but he seems less impressed than other critics (with the exception of Randall Lane). [NYT]
Peter Meehan enjoys the tapas at Ostia, but suggests that the trend may have played itself out. [NYT]
Alan Richman gives what may be the first totally negative write-up of Gramercy Tavern: Apparently the food is complicated and bland, the service undersupervised, and the room lacking in personality. A major blow to new chef Michael Anthony. [Bloomberg]
Related: Everything Topsy-Turvy at Gramercy Tavern
The Other Critics
Everybody Loves Sfoglia; Meehan Loves All BBQBruni two-stars Sfoglia, the latest victory in a series for the Nantucket import, including nods from Adam Platt and Gael Greene in our Best of New York issue. The food is simple and rustic (frittatas, simple pastas), but it works for Bruni. Imagination can get you two stars, as the Ssäm Bar review showed last week, but so can execution, even if it isn’t very elaborate. [NYT]
Peter Meehan surveys nearly all the area’s BBQ restaurants, finding a lot to like: the pulled pork at Pies-N-Thighs and the burnt ends at RUB, to name two. Still, no revelations here. [NYT]
Sietsema hits up a Senegalese restaurant in Harlem: “Predictably, the dibi is awesome.” You said it, Bob! Has Sietsema ever met a foreign lamb dish he didn’t like? [VV]
The Other Critics
Chodorow Sure to Be Pissed Over New ‘Times’ Steakhouse ReviewThis one is bound to kill Chodorow. Bruni visits a steakhouse even more vulgar than Kobe Club and awards it one star: Robert’s Steakhouse, inside the Penthouse Executive Club. Adam Perry Lang, as most recognize, is one of the city’s top meat guys. [NYT]
Meehan affirms that Kefi’s has terrific food at a bargain. He notes that it was strangely quiet the nights he was there, but that has changed, we’re told, since the Underground Gourmet gave the restaurant four stars. [NYT]
Think of this less as a review of Gilt than an excuse for Steve Cuozzo to acknowledge Chris Lee, one of the city’s most underappreciated chefs, whose ill fortune it was to follow Paul Liebrandt and his alienating high-concept cookery. [NYP]
The Other Critics
It’s Final: Ramsay’s Dull; March Gets RomanticBruni goes to Gordon Ramsay and finds common ground with everyone else, saying it’s well executed, flawless even — and totally uninspiring. Even the paint is dull! (Two stars.) [NYT]
In keeping with his recent interest in the international, Meehan visits a Romanian restaurant with garlicky spreads in Sunnyside. Still, despite the Sphinx, the place still doesn’t sound all that interesting. [NYT]
March reborn as Nish: It’s more romantic, thanks to more intimate seating, exotic ingredients, and dishes that “broadly evoked the cuisine of chef Gray Kunz: international spices used with local ingredients and French technique.” Who isn’t doing that these days? [Bloomberg]
The Other Critics
Kobe Club Nadir of the Genre; Pera’s Kebabs as Good as Street Meat!Bruni gives the Waverly Inn one star in a review that parodies a high-powered editor’s blathering about how cool the place is. But like most everyone else, he seemed to enjoy the food. [NYT]
Meehan, meanwhile, finds a barbecue trailer parked in front of an auto body shop in the Bronx. This even beats his review of that taco stand in a garage. [NYT]
Paul Adams likes the new Turkish restaurant Pera well enough, but in a Meehan-esque twist, suggests street kebabs are just as good. The place is big and elegant, but the Turkish specialties are largely “watered down for non-Turkish tastes.” [NYS]
The Other Critics
Bruni Meets Neroni; Another Blah Review for RamsayMaking sure to mention chef Jason Neroni’s desperate call for Beard nominations — the one revealed on Grub Street — Bruni gives Porchetta a single star and calls Neroni “overly insistent.” [NYT]
In all-tofu dessert spot Kyotofu, Meehan finds a pudding paradise. Though he issues some of the most enthusiastic praise we’ve heard from him lately, he also cautions that the savory dishes are just “perfunctory.” [NYT]
Wobbly tables don’t get in the way of Paul Adams’s appreciation of new Soho Moroccan joint Babouche. [NYS]
Cuozzo loves Pera, makes it sound as if it’s the first-ever high-end Turkish restaurant. Orhan Yegan of Divane and Beyoglu must have steam coming out of his ears. [NYP]
Sietsema rarely meets a barbecue he doesn’t like, and Brooklyn’s Smoke Joint proves no exception. The evil Cookshack smoker, condemned in our 2006 wish list, makes a cameo appearance. [VV]
Randall Lane delivers yet another approving but ultimately unenthusiastic review of the “impeccable, if clinical” Gordon Ramsay. The Brit just can’t win! [TONY]
Related: Gordon Ramsay, Gay Icon
The Other Critics
Russian Tea Room Slammed; Einstein’s Theory Applied to Cambodian FoodChristmas comes in January for Danny Meyer, as Bruni awards both Eleven Madison Park and the Bar Room at the Modern three stars. [NYT]
Using the Theory of Relativity, Sietsema explains why Kampuchea is special without really being special at all. [VV]
Alan Richman jumps on the Russian Tea Room with both feet. Key words: “gummy,” “inedible,” and “your grocer’s freezer.” [Bloomberg]
Click and Save
Reindeer Sausage, Hungry-Man Happy Hours, and a Word From DJ BubblesWhether you’re hungry at six in the p.m. or five in the a.m., this week’s serving of service journalism has you covered.
• Cheapo champ Meehan’s late-night dining findings. [NYT]
• Time Out does brunch. [TONY]
• Hungry-man happy hours. [Thrillist]
• Sietsema’s best-of picks: Fried backbone, reindeer sausage, and “weird wobbly yellow stuff.” [VV]
• Greek grub in Astoria. [NYT]
• “Definitive pizzameister” DJ Bubbles’ top-ten list. [Slice]
Back of the House
A Visual Guide to Your Favorite Food Critics
Who in his right mind believes that there’s a food writer out there who looks “similar to Harrison Ford but more muscular and tan”? Tim Love, apparently. We already got some good mileage out of the same Forth Worth Star Telegram article on Tim Love opening his new restaurant, but Gastropoda pointed out something from it that we missed: There’s a “fat notebook” Love and his wife kept on the food media, tracking the aforementioned Ford look-alike as well as a “better, younger-looking Woody Allen.” If you ask us, half of the food-writing corps (Meehan, Peter; Asimov, Eric; Lee, Ted; et al.) resemble “nerdier Elvis Costellos.” But there are exceptions. As a gift to Mr. Love and his colleagues, we offer the following quiz.