Bar Q Steals Two Stars; a Split Decision on BenoitDiffering verdicts on Benoit, the Bar Boulud review that Daniel dreamed of, and Cabrito gets hit with the “I can get better tacos on the street” card, in this week’s review roundup.
Merkato 55 Not Knocking Them Out; Chop Suey ChoppedMerkato 55 takes it on the chin from the Sun and Post, Bruni stops into La Sirene, a place you’ve likely never heard of, and Alan Richman wishes they would just leave him alone at South Gate.
Beef
Anthony Bourdain Insults Alan Richman Right BackAlan Richman’s review of Brasserie Les Halles yesterday on his GQ blog seemed a not especially subtle slam of Tony Bourdain. “When I phoned the restaurant to ask [Bourdain’s] role there,” the critic wrote, “I was told he acts as a ‘consultant,’ although it’s hard to know what a place that specializes in the hoariest of French dishes would need from an American who wasn’t much of a chef back in the days when he worked at being one.” Meow! Given how long Les Halles has been around and how universally understood its mediocrity is, there could be no other reason to review it than to lay the hurt on Tony Bourdain. Bourdain, though, is unfazed by the attack: He tells Grub Street, “It was like being mauled by Gumby. Afterwards, you’re not sure it even happened.”
Kitchen Inconsequential [GQ]
The Other Critics
Bar Boulud, Loved at Last; Cuozzo Not on the Dovetail Bandwagon“It’s a new era, and Bar Boulud belongs to it.” That’s why, even though the hot items are mostly “snoozers,” the restaurant deserves two stars. Another Zeitgeist review from Frank Bruni. [NYT]
Steve Cuozzo doesn’t give out stars, but if he did, he wouldn’t be giving three to Dovetail, whose stellar critical reception he recapitulates in a forceful, acerbic review. “The Times’ Frank Bruni, who found ‘drab’ décor at Anthos a reason to deny that truly original, forward-Greek place three stars, overlooked Dovetail’s butt-ugly brown palette to exult over the likes of — holy cow! — monkfish and lobster on the same plate.” [NYP]
Writing on his GQ blog, Alan Richman obliterates Brasserie Les Halles, but why? Who was thinking about it, anyway? And who thought it was good? The review seems conceived as a blow against Tony Bourdain, but it does him no harm. [GQ]
NewsFeed
What Goes on Behind Momofuku Ko’s Closed DoorsWhile you wait with extremely bated breath for the Ko reservation Website to go live (don’t go thinking the general public is going to eat in there anytime before Wednesday), a snapshot of what was going on behind the heavily armored doors, at least for a brief moment last night: Occupying some of the fourteen precious seats were New York’s “sexiest chef” Johnny Iuzzini (and date), Shorty’s.32 star Josh Eden (and date), and former Bloomberg critic and current current GQ blogger Alan Richman with Time Out New York food editor Gabriella Gershenson (presumably not on a date). Every other minute, a curious passerby outside would stop and press his nose against the exterior’s ornate metalwork and just awkwardly peer inside for 30 seconds, trying his hardest to see something through the obscured windows. It was pure shamelessness, New Yorkers gawking like tourists, but who could blame them? The place looks like a dungeon from the outside. And all that attention no doubt made the lucky few on the inside feel all the more special, like prized little angelfish in Chang’s velvet aquarium. —Jessica Coen
The Other Critics
Wylie Wins Respect for Molecular Gastronomy With a Third Star; Bar BouludIn a landmark for molecular gastronomy in America, the movement’s top proponent, Wylie Dufresne, gets his third star for wd-50. A historic review, especially as Frank Bruni expresses the usual reservations about overly cerebral cooking. [NYT]
Bar Boulud finally gets some respect from Alan Richman, who praises its blue-ribbon charcuterie and says of its much-maligned mains, “The worst that can be said…is that the recipes are relentlessly conventional — lamb stew, roasted chicken, boudin blanc. The best is that such a style of cooking is terribly missed.” [GQ]
Restaurant Girl seems to have been distinctly unimpressed with about half of the dishes she tried at Adour, resulting in a lukewarm, two-and-a-half-star review. Ducasse’s latest is not getting off to a great start. [NYDN]
The Other Critics
Bar Blanc Draws Its Deuce; Mia Dona Welcomed by RichmanFrank Bruni finds Bar Blanc fussy, mannered, overly fastidious — and very, very good. The two stars should take the sting out of his review for the place’s owners. [NYT]
Related: Raising the Bar
Restaurant Girl hits Williamsburg’s Zenkichi and, between the room, the food, and the sake selection, seems to have a real find on her hands. [NYDN]
Randall Lane joins in the general enthusiasm for Dovetail , but now he seems unwilling to go back to his five-star-granting ways and so ends up giving them only four — the equivalent, in traditional star terms, to a two-star review, which is not what this reads as. [TONY]
In Other Magazines
‘Details’ Announces the Nation’s Top Breakfasts
Fresh off the heels of Esquire’s Best Sandwiches in America comes Detail’s Best Breakfasts in America. We’re beginning to think that these features are a little played out. Since Alan Richman’s “The 20 Hamburgers You Must Eat Before You Die” spread in GQ last year, it seems every major man mag is looking to create its own Saveur 100, gathering up the most picturesque greasy spoons west of the Pecos. But who is going to get to all these places, anyway? And since they tend to be written by committee, why should we believe that they are good? They are fun to read, we’ll admit. And we don’t squawk at their only giving New York two picks (Barney Greengrass and Mei Lai Wah Coffee House). New York is a horrible breakfast town, where you can’t even get buttered toast, much less good shredded hash browns or scrapple.
Breakfast in America [Details]
Related: Esquire Sandwich Survey Is Spot-on
NewsFeed
David Chang Triumphs Again; Richman Named Douche Bag at Golden ClogsEater SF brings us the highlights of the 2008 Golden Clog awards from Sobe, and they’re as follows: David Chang takes the Fergus for greatest achievement in pork and/or guts — another one for the mantle! Drew Nierporent hands the Swollen Liver Award to Ariane Daguin of D’Artagnan and issues a PSA: “Remember, if you need a resy at Nobu, don’t call me.” Rocco Dispirito presents his eponymous award for worst career move to Tyler Florence for endorsing Applebee’s. Alan Richman takes the Douche Bag Award for being a hater, while Mike Nagrant, of Hungryman.com, gets the Steingarten for actually getting food. Perhaps the real shocker: Thomas Keller gets the Mario award for whoring himself out without running his empire into the ground. Congrats all around!
SobeWire: Live-Blogging the 2008 Golden Clog Awards [Eater SF]
The Other Critics
Praise for 2nd Avenue Deli and Dovetail; Southgate SuffersFrank Bruni can’t help but make a one-act play out of his one-star 2nd Avenue Deli review: Sholom Aleichem by way of Oscar Wilde. A classic review, even if you don’t come out of it knowing much about the food at 2nd Avenue Deli. [NYT]
Reviewing on his blog, Alan Richman delivers a less colorful, but more accurate and knowing account, of the place, which is even more admiring. [GQ]
Ryan Sutton isn’t impressed one bit by Southgate — he thinks it’s expensive and uninspired, broadly speaking. Not a whit of enthusiasm here. [Bloomberg]
VideoFeed
Our Pick for Richman’s Replacement: Ashford Lawrence, Shirtless Critic
While the food world wonders who will assume Alan Richman’s reviewing mantle, we’d like to offer an endorsement: Ashford Lawrence, a food critic like no other, played by local comic and Chappelle’s Show regular Donnell Rawlings. Despite a fondness for ascots, Ashford betrays a twinge of pedestrianism when he dines shirtless at New Leaf Café and requests wines such as a Tublanc Shakur and a 2013 Chardonnay (“I like my wines from the future”). Okay, so he doesn’t have the most sophisticated grasp of food— he declines a Heron Pinot Noir by snipping, “I don’t do drugs” — but, then again, Richman was never a hard-core foodie, and if there’s a line worthy of Richman’s hyperbole, it’s Ashy’s verdict on the lamb: “It’s like a midget cow!” All we ask of you, Bloomberg higher-ups, is that you watch the video.
Back of the House
Alan Richman Speaks – Sort OfAlan Richman won’t confirm if he quit Bloomberg or was fired, but denies that it was a dispute with his editors that led to the break. “Rumors that I left Bloomberg because of a fight with an editor are obviously untrue. If that were a cause to leave a job, there wouldn’t be an employed writer left in America,” he tells us. Too true! So what’s next? Richman hasn’t announced anything yet, but we bet he won’t be working as a critic for the Times-Picayune.
Related: Alan Richman Confirmed Out at Bloomberg
NewsFeed
Alan Richman Confirmed Out at Bloomberg
Alan Richman is out at Bloomberg, reports say. A tipster reported as much to Gawker over the weekend, and Eater currently is citing “reliable info” that the critic left on his own, rather than getting fired. Our own source on the subject, a figure close to the center of the situation, confirms for us that Richman is no longer reviewing for Bloomberg. As much as we admire Richman’s work, we weren’t entirely surprised: Richman had evidenced tablecloth fatigue over the last few years, and had been at the reviewing grind much longer than any of his current peers. According to Eater, Peter Eliot will replace Richman in the weeks before a permanent replacement is named. More on the story (and our source says there is more to the story) as we hear it.
EaterWire AM Edition: Alan Richman Out at Bloomberg [Eater]
Mediavore
David Lee Roth Is a Shitty Tipper; Alan Richman Out at BloombergThe Shitty Tipper Database on bitterwaitress.com keeps track of people like David Lee Roth, who recently left a $20 tip for a $200 lunch. [NYP]
Alan Richman is out as Bloomberg’s food critic. [Eater]
The bhut jolokia chile pepper is 200 times hotter than a jalapeño and could potentially be used in pepper sprays, but people like eating it and U.S. sales are projected to increase 500 percent this year. [WSJ]
The Other Critics
Mesa Grill Keeps One Star, Barely; Richman Rejuvenated by DovetailMesa Grill loses a star, but this is one of the worst one-star reviews you’ll ever read, even going so far as to compare it to gulag gourmet: “During one dinner the three slivers of chicken in the appetizer tacos were among the most shriveled, desiccated pieces of meat I’ve seen outside a bodega buffet at 3 a.m.” [NYT]
Related: Salute the Gulag Gourmet Movement
Now this is something cheering: Alan Richman found a tablecloth restaurant that got him genuinely excited. Dovetail’s food, he says approvingly, is “exuberant and shocking” — in a good way. [Bloomberg]
Paul Adams hits Cooper Tavern, a not particularly ambitious hotel restaurant recently given a “meh” review by Frank Bruni, and likes it a little better, although the fries are “pathetically poor” and the pork chop is “hardly going to be the talk of the city’s pork chop grapevine.” We can testify that that part is true. [NYS]
The Other Critics
Barbuto Saved by a Chicken; Fiamma Comes Up ShortThe wildly uneven Barbuto earns a single star from Frank Bruni, almost entirely on the strength of a well-roasted Bell & Evans chicken. To quote Winston Churchill, “Some chicken!” [NYT]
Alan Richman was appalled by how small the portions were at Grayz, how much they cost, and how shady most of them were, except for the magnificent, world-beating short rib: “In complexity and satisfaction, this dish reminded me most of the Gray Kunz of Lespinasse, the chef we miss so much.” [Bloomberg]
Randall Lane gets that Fiamma’s Fabio Trachocchi is cooking in a grand, Continental style and doesn’t hold that against him, but the food is too rich and the service too sloppy to give him the five or six stars the place would have liked And so they have to settle for four. [TONY]
The Other Critics
Allen & Delancey Gets Its Two-Star Due; Irving Mill Continues to UninspireIn spite of lousy desserts and a misstep in the fish department there, Frank Bruni couldn’t avoid giving Allen and Delancey’s complex, accomplished food two stars. [NYT]
Alan Richman, no pushover, was also very impressed by Allen & Delancey, though he noted that the chef’s strength clearly lies in the realm of turf, rather than surf. Still, the respect is there: “The visceral satisfaction is high. He piles on flavors, and he does so with assurance.” [Bloomberg]
Irving Mill: tired concept, spotty execution. Restaurant Girl joins the chorus. [NYDN]
The Other Critics
Cipriani Charged With ‘Highway Robbery’; Market Table Gets a BigFrank Bruni pens one of his best zero-star reviews ever in putting down Harry Cipriani, hard: “The crime that comes to mind first when I think of the Ciprianis is highway robbery. Based on my recent experience, that’s what happens almost any time Harry Cipriani on Fifth Avenue serves lunch or dinner.” Brillo-like potatoes? $23 for asparagus? Bruni makes ‘em pay. [NYT]
Market Table gets two and a half stars from Restaurant Girl, who praises the solid American cooking and buys into the overall concept. We wondered if MT wouldn’t be the restaurant that absorbed the Haute Barnyard backlash, but it seems to have dodged it so far. [NYDN]
Paul Adams hits Tailor and delivers the most intelligently rendered version of what seems to be the verdict on the place: The food is brilliant but spotty, and the drinks are great. [NYS]
The Other Critics
A Star Swap for Alto & L’Impero; No Amore for Richman at FiammaThe Times’ verdict is in on Alto and L’Impero, and it’s the expected three and two stars, respectively. Lost in the Alto upgrade is the hard fact that L’Impero now enters the dreaded two-star limbo into which Frank Bruni puts any place neither transcendent nor mediocre. Personally, we would have had it at four and three. [NYT]
Alan Richman admires the new Fiamma (former home to Mike White) in a cool and distant way, finding the food busy and not at all Italian, although not exactly lousy by any means. No one will read this review and want to spend money to eat at Fiamma. [Bloomberg]
On the other hand, Restaurant Girl’s three-star review reads like a perfume ad, it’s so loving: “Like an artist, he paints deeply flavored ragu onto a pappardelle canvas, finished with tender ribbons of venison.” Ew! But Steve Hanson must be happy. [NYDN]
The Other Critics
One Star and Thirteen Recommended Dishes for Centro Vinoteca; BLT Market TakesAnother somewhat capricious Frank Bruni review: He gives Centro Vinoteca one star, praising nearly everything he ate (there are thirteen recommended dishes) but complaining about the noise and crowds on the first floor and presumably on that basis withholding a second star. [NYT]
Danyelle Freeman is so not impressed with BLT Market. According to her, the ingredients themselves aren’t even that good! But she likes the place enough to give it two stars anyway. [NYDN]
The usually harder-to-please Alan Richman, on the other hand, had a much higher estimation of the place, except for the part about it smelling like shit. But that, he hopes, will pass with the warm weather. [Bloomberg]
The Other Critics
Wakiya Earns a Second Bagel; Meehan Mistreated at BarFryWakiya’s brief flirtation with the possibility of success seems to be over, now that Frank Bruni has concurred with Adam Platt by handing the restaurant what seems to be a well-deserved bagel. How long before it goes down for the dirt nap is anybody’s guess. [NYT]
Alan Richman, by the way, hates the place even worse. You don’t even have to look beyond his subheads: “Preening.” “Small Portions.” “Incomprehensible Menu.” The bottom line? The place is wildly expensive and “Wakiya suffers from an absence of delights.” To say the least. [Bloomberg]
Peter Meehan, though taking care to praise Josh DeChellis’s cold dishes, had what sounds like a series of awful experiences at BarFry, with terrible service issues. Talk about picking the wrong guy to leave stranded with bottles in his hands! [NYT]
The Other Critics
Cuozzo Likes Wakiya; Bruni, Platt Agree on RayuelaSteve Cuozzo bucks the early bad buzz on Wakiya, praising the place but cautioning that the chef will only be around one week a month. [NYP]
Related: We Catch Wakiya’s First Guests on the Street
Alan Richman submits a rare rave review for Soto, saying of its hot dishes “not one was less than wonderful. This is cooked food on a par with the most ingenious in New York.” Soto-san has to be pretty happy with that. [Bloomberg]
Restaurant Girl’s debut in the Daily News takes the form of a mixed review on Gemma: She liked the branzino and the atmosphere, the other dishes not so much. Nothing in the write-up suggests that they were unduly influenced by knowing who she was. [NYDN]
Related: Restaurant Girl Has a Face For Reviewing
The Other Critics
Perilla Found to be Basically Okay; Richman Loves Balthazar Even More Than ThePerilla tried to be sober and sane, and what was the result? One star from Frank Bruni. But that’s still pretty good for a first-time effort, even by a ‘Top Chef.’ [NYT]
It’s no surprise Alan Richman approves of Balthazar, given his fondness for insouciance in restaurants. He all but opens the floodgates of his enthusiasm for Keith McNally’s flagship. [Bloomberg]
Related: Why Is Alan Richman So in Love With Brooklyn?
In an apparent effort to differentiate the two once and for all, Andrea Thompson considers both the Farm on Adderley and Flatbush Farm in one column. But read closer, and only one entrée is mentioned at each place, a disservice to both. [NYer]
Back of the House
Why Is Alan Richman So in Love With Brooklyn?
Given that Alan Richman has become a kind of professional debunker, the Amazing Randi of the food world, it was with some relief that we read his critical overview of Brooklyn in the new issue of GQ. The verdict: Brooklyn rules! Gramercy Tavern, Jean-Georges Vongerichten, and the cities of Las Vegas and New Orleans, all victims of his scorn over the last few years, must be fuming.
