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In Praise of the 10-Egg Breakfast

Egg. It’s for breakfast ten times. Photo: Westend61/Getty Images

Today on Fox News’s daily theater of the absurd, some guy with an impressive mustache was interviewed while eating — wait, what? — ten sunny-side-up eggs for breakfast. He was interviewed by Todd Piro for the Fox & Friends “Breakfast With Friends” segment, which was filmed at Milwaukee diner Johnny V’s Classic Cafe.

While the amateur pundit immediately took to sharing his bad politics (apparently, Democrats are promising “free this, free that” to buy votes), it’s hard to focus on anything that isn’t the eggs. THE EGGS. Countless questions come to mind: Is the ten-egg breakfast the secret to longevity? Does he always have them sunny side up, or ever get them scrambled? Does he get swole from all that protein? Why is this man eating ten eggs for breakfast? And why have I not been doing this, with a dash of hot sauce?

As documentary filmmaker Arlen Parsa, who tweeted about the eggs, shared, the ten eggs appear to be part of a challenge in which the customers gets a free breakfast if they can eat all five pounds of the meal in under an hour. Alright, there’s some really on-the-nose, perfect irony in a guy complaining about “government handouts” while eating an absolutely excessive meal to get it for free. But, also, you have to sort of respect that he takes time out of this Olympic-level challenge to talk on cable news. That is confidence.

In Praise of the 10-Egg Breakfast