Even though Super Bowl LII was played last night, major brands like Coke and Budweiser began releasing ads days ago, and, well, some are better than others. While nothing could touch Tide’s masterful (yet noticeably Pod-free) game-long campaign, the companies that make various mass-market snacks and drinks did go for an array of moods. From transparently self-congratulatory to a few spots that were genuinely funny, here’s a final ranking of all of the food and drink ads that aired during 2018’s big game.
11. Tie: Budweiser and Stella Artois
Both brands are owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev, and both are effectively running the same campaign: humble-bragging about the great aid work they do, which, by some twist of fate, involves clean water. (Guys: It’s not altruism if you use it as a marketing tactic to sell bad beer.)
10. Tie: Coca-Cola and Pepsi
How do you convince people that flavored corn-syrup water is actually somehow great? That’s the conundrum faced by these two soda behemoths. Coke attempts a (laudable) diversity play, while Pepsi wants America’s youth, who are decidedly not drinking its products, to remember that it makes soda for “every generation.”
9. Bud Light
Will this ad be the final gasp for the once-admittedly-enjoyable “Dilly Dilly” campaign? One can hope!
Bill Hader stars as an actor on set when the crew figures out that you can make flavors like “Spicy Barbecue Pizza” by stacking the right Pringles varieties on top of one another. Hader can do no wrong, but the overall ad is … fine.
If M&M’s were real people, what would that even look like? For the red M&M, turns out he’s Danny DeVito. That, in a candy-coated nutshell, is the entire concept behind this one.
6. Diet Coke
There are new flavors of Diet Coke. The mango version will apparently make you dance a little bit. Like Diet Coke itself, it’s mostly inoffensive and easily ignored.
5. Michelob Ultra
Pumped about his big gig as Michelob Ultra’s new spokesperson, Chris Pratt does what all fans of this beer do, and starts working out a whole lot. This one’s a two-parter, and — spoiler alert! — both parts are already out.
4. Doritos and Mountain Dew
This isn’t another tie: It seems two of PepsiCo’s brands went halfsies on a single ad. However, watching Peter Dinklage rap-battle with Doritos Blaze against Morgan Freeman and his Mountain Dew Ice almost justifies a second year with no PuppyMonkeyBaby sequel. Almost.
3. Jack in the Box
In this regional spot, it’s Jack the mascot versus Martha Stewart the domestic goddess in a fight to see who makes a better bánh-mì chicken sandwich. Jack soon learns what everyone else already knows: You don’t mess with Martha.
The No. 3 burger chain built an entire ad around burning McDonald’s. Super petty, which is why it’s pretty great.
1. Avocados From Mexico
The farmers’ group that is likely responsible for growing the avocados you’re using for your Super Bowl guac have come up with a dystopian fantasy where people do have avocados — but don’t have any chips. It’s well-done, and even the celebrity cameo (a must-have for any Super Bowl ad) is appreciated.
This post has been updated with additional ads that debuted during the game.