By now, it’s clear that Michael Wolff’s fly-on-the-wall account of year one inside of President Trump’s White House has something to scandalize or worry everyone. For Stephen Colbert, he’s particularly troubled by the part in New York’s excerpt about Trump’s alleged bedtime-burger habit. (“If he was not having his 6:30 dinner with Steve Bannon,” Wolff reports, “then, more to his liking, he was in bed by that time with a cheeseburger.”)
The Trumps are reportedly the first White House residents to sleep in separate bedrooms since the Kennedys. But Colbert can’t imagine Trump as a spray-tanned JFK sneaking in mistresses — no, in his mind, it involves fast food and is much, much worse:
According to Wolff’s sources, Trump’s McDonald’s fetish partly stems from a “longtime fear of being poisoned.” Apologies for the mental image of Donald Trump and Special Sauce, but maybe POTUS is just “appreciating” the Big Mac the only way he seems to know how.
