You’ve probably never stared at peanut butter, bread, and a knife and cursed the hellish sandwich-making journey ahead of you. But maybe you have six kids who need school lunches, and you want to shave five seconds off each and spend that extra half-minute quietly meditating? Well, the Food Network’s Facebook page has posted a clever video by blogger Bev Weidner that offers a “brilliant” new hack to help you do just that.
“There’s this whole convenience thing with sandwiches,” Weidner says by way of intro. “Little slices of meat. Slices of cheese. Pickle slices! Well, why aren’t there” — she literally pauses here, ensuring that your mind’s ready to be blown — “peanut butter slices?”
Thanks to Weidner, now there are. To have them, you’ll just need to do the following steps: Use a wooden spoon to spread a glob of peanut butter onto parchment paper, then cover that glob with another piece of parchment and flatten it with a rolling pin. Next, store this sheet overnight in the freezer; the next morning, remove it and cut it into deli-meat-size squares. Place each of these squares between more parchment, so they don’t stick together, and your new peanut-butter slices are all set. Just put them back in the freezer for safekeeping.
Weidner was no doubt trying her best. And the attention hasn’t been all bad — that video’s up to 10 million views, after all. But the Facebook community hasn’t exactly latched onto this one. In fact, almost every single one of the 14,000 comments are savagely snarky, and almost entirely in agreement that Weidner’s “hack” amounts to a 100 percent waste of time.
No doubt even funnier stuff is buried down deep in the comments, but here’s some of the best WTF reactions that are relatively near the top:
• “I cant be the only one that doesn’t have an issue spreading peanut butter.”
• “Show someone making ice cubes next. Be sure to post the recipe.”
• “Love this … since having kids I had to quit my job due to the amount of time I needed to spread peanut butter each day … maybe now I can go back to work part-time!”
• “If you can’t spread PB without tearing the bread, you have no business being on the Food Network.”
• “I feel like it’s a problem the people on infomercials have; try to spread peanut butter, bread tears, knock jar out of window, kitchen catches on fire, car explodes.”
• “Uh, what crazy parent is feeding their kid an open-faced peanut butter, honey, and chocolate sprinkles sandwich?”
• “If you have trouble slicing an apple, just put it in the freezer, until it’s completely frozen, then throw it against a wall. it’ll smash into a thousand pieces. Just simply sweep them up and hey presto, easy to eat apple pieces.”
• “Oh I have an even better idea … freeze the whole jar of peanut butter
Then take it to the table saw and cut into slices
Peel off plastic rim and you have all of it done at once.”
• “Even gluten free bread, that disintegrates when you look at it funny, will hold together with peanut butter. Perhaps one should not apply peanut butter like a serial killer.”
• “I add pb directly to bread like a normal human, and I showed my kids how to do it so now they make their own sandwiches. Isn’t that the goal?”
• “Torn bread!! What she applying it with, a shovel??”