Today on Twitter, someone asked if it is possible to use cottage cheese instead of milk in mac’n’cheese. The answer, if you’re still wondering, is no. It was an innocent question, but the same could not be said for Philadelphia baseball writer Jim Salisbury’s reaction. Treating Twitter like a confessional booth, he admitted that he once added mayo to coffee — and even gave it a tepid endorsement.
Look, Americans have always pushed culinary boundaries: covering sweet potatoes with marshmallows, reveling in Jell-O salads, turning eggs into taco shells. And indeed no one can accuse this country’s citizens of underexploring the full potential of mayonnaise. But sometimes, in the pursuit of culinary innovation, lines are crossed. Salisbury flew too close to the sun. Needless to say, people were horrified and, this being social media, they did not hold back. (Salisbury has yet to confirm whether he actually knows that mayo is not a dairy product.)