Depleting folks’ savings accounts was one thing, but it’s time somebody tells these millennial-hating avocados to chill: A shopper at Sprouts — the organic grocery chain analysts have called a Whole Foods killer — claims she bought an avocado at one of its stores, and there was a bullet embedded inside it. Her friend posted the evidence on Reddit, where the picture has picked up 26,000 points and 1,400 comments in about a day. Most of the thread’s commenters are there to write their one clever joke and leave (e.g., “Glockamole!!!” or to ask what if vegans had to hunt their food), but a few have tried to logically think through how this could’ve happened, like was it a farmer with a squirrel problem, or maybe our guac-obsessed civilization has now reached the point of conflict avocados? A lab worker even chimes in to reassure everyone that there’s nothing to worry about, because finding bullets in food is “an incredibly common occurrence.”
Still seems problematic, though, that nobody’s formulating a good defense plan in the event of a full-out war with avocados. It’s all fun and games until the fruits turn against humankind, at which point you might say our species is toast.