America Reminds Washington Post Writer Not to Mess With Ranch Dressing

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Fried onions with ranch, from Mr. Donahue’s. Don’t act like you’re better than this. Photo: Evan Sung

Today, America faced a surprise attack on the country’s tastes, its values, the very foundation of this great nation: The Washington Post published an op-ed that boldly, and incorrectly, states, “Ranch dressing is what’s wrong with America.” The piece is by Ben Adler, who is a staff writer at the environmental news organization Grist, and it’s ostensibly a reaction to this celebration of ranch dressing (and America as a whole). Adler argues that America’s food world is caught up in “faddish philistinism.” He says combining ranch dressing and pizza springs from “idiotic thinking,” and claims that if we don’t curb dairy consumption, “we will run out of resources to feed the Earth’s 7 billion-and-growing population and cause massive climate disruption.”

Reaction to the piece has been swift, and decisive. Admittedly, there are some people cheering Adler, but the pro-ranch camp’s response is overwhelming. Attacking ranch is attacking America, and even in these divided times, it seems there is one topic that can unify a nation: ranch dressing. The article’s comments section is filled with buttermilk-soaked gems like these:

“OMG. Suck it, you over-indulged foodie that no one - I’m willing to bet - likes. Ranch is great. And whining about the fact it’s pretty much spoiled milk? Well, yeah - what cheese product DOESN’T have that to some extent?”

“Whew, so glad I came across this article. It’s the first one that I really feel speaks to my concerns on what ranch dressing means to America today. Worse than race riots, election coverage and even worse than climate change is the over use and abuse for ranch dressing….. ”

“Ben Adler is a staff writer at Grist, where he covers environmental politics and policy, with a focus on climate change, energy and urban planning.

Which has exactly nothing to do with ranch dressing. It’s hard to figure out who is dumber; the author or the WaPo.”

“This article conflates about 8 different things in an attempt to demonize a salad dressing of all things. Someone is a little bitter today.”

“Clearly snotty, condescending, arrogant pseudo-snobs like this guy are a much bigger problem for America than ranch dressing.”

“What’s sillier…Adler writing this pap; the Post publishing it; or me glancing at it?”

“Next week: “Raisins, What Have We Done to the Grape?”

“You had me up until that passive-aggressive knock on Buffalo Wild Wings. Totally uncalled for.”

The Twitterverse is also not having it:

America Reminds Writer Not to Mess With Ranch Dressing