the chain gang

Krispy Kreme Will Give You a Free Doughnut Today in Exchange for Just a Little Bit of Your Dignity

So that’s where a doughnut’s eyes are.

Arrr you a person who lives with no regret? Then today, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, is a great day for some Krispy Kreme. Go visit a location and say things in a pirate voice, and that act will be rewarded with one free glazed doughnut. Or, if that doesn’t suggest enough commitment, dress in full-on pirate garb and “yer bounty” will be an entire dozen. Qualifying costumes must include three “pirate items,” such as an eye patch, live pet parrot, sword, or amputated hand.

Naturally, to celebrate, the chain rolled out two themed menu items as well — the Pirate Doughnut (“a filled doughnut decorated with a pirate face”) and the Skull and Crossbones Doughnut. But a sudden lack of shame only scores a customer the $1 glazed variety. So far, so good on that front, at least from Krispy Kreme’s perspective:

Finally, to show how pointless all this has become in the age of social media, there’s also a third, much easier option: “For the first time this year, guests can also use a custom Krispy Kreme Snapchat pirate filter to digitally ‘dress’ like a pirate,” the chain’s official rules say. “Any guest who shows their Snapchat image at a participating shop will qualify for a dozen Original Glazed doughnuts.”

Krispy Kreme Offers Free Doughnut in Exchange for Dignity