Do you need a 12-pound pork crown roast in a pinch? You better live in a penthouse or a yacht, because it’ll set you back $410 if you buy it from Neiman Marcus, but it arrives fully cooked and with three pounds of pecan dressing. Shipping is an extra $32, but at this point, whatever, right?
GQ noticed the department store, perhaps riding the meal-kit wave, has added premade meals to its baskets of gold-leafed chocolates and whatnot: For online order, there are now 72-count boxes of tamales ($92 each, plus shipping), or a dozen enchiladas ($72) if this get-together is more of a sit-down-meal thing. Brussels sprouts for six to eight people ($54) and a 32-ounce vat of creamed corn ($58) round out the sides, and Neiman will happily throw in 12 frozen arancini as a starter for $46.
Considering the department store is asking people to drop almost five Benjamins, it does seem odd that the hunk of luxury meat gets delivered frozen solid, with just these instructions: “Thaw in refrigerator 3-4 days. Bake in preheated 300-degree oven for 3-3.5 hours.” There are, of course, other ways to spend $410: Share a whole suckling pig at the Breslin with three of your friends, or buy a top-dollar roast from the butcher and hire a trained culinary professional to come cook it for you with no half-week defrosting period.