The local jerk who was filmed spritzing the unpackaged food at a Michigan Whole Foods with an “unknown liquid substance” is now in federal custody. In fact, investigators say it took all of one day for somebody to turn him in. “Our joint investigation leads us to believe that this individual sprayed a liquid mixture of hand sanitizer, water, and Tomcat mice poison on produce,” a special agent in the FBI’s Detroit office tells media. Officials say the chemicals are a form of anti-coagulant that could have an adverse blood-thinning effect, but they don’t think he was able to spray his DIY poison in high enough quantities.
However, they are saying there’s reason to believe he was a serial poisoner who intentionally tainted food at as many as 14 other grocery stores in Ann Arbor, Flint, and several other Michigan cities. Nobody has speculated on a motive yet, but the repeat offenses mean it wasn’t some twisted protest against bougie mushroom-barley soup: He supposedly did his best to contaminate the food at two Walmarts, a Kroger, and a Target as well.