The Feeding Tube

The 7 Best Lines From The Simpsons’ Food Network Send-up

On last night’s episode of The Simpsons, Homer became a Springfield-famous barbecuer after he discovered the Hive, a “perfect smoker” made from a meteor. The neighborhood buzz over his delicious ribs naturally attracted “Chew Network” celebrity chef Scotty Boom — “the host of Side Dish: Impossible, Master Prison Chef, and Kill It, Chill It, Grill It, and someone who bears a strong resemblance to Bobby Flay. Of course, Boom challenged Homer to a cook-off on his brand-new show Eat-Down, where Alton Brown (as himself) served as a judge. Grub won’t spoil the winner, but suffice it to say the episode hits the Flay-ish character pretty hard.

Here are the seven best burns and one-liners:

• Homer, realizing why he’s such a great barbecuer: “Well, the secret to barbecue is sitting around doing nothing. No wonder I’m great at it.”

• Boom, explaining the gist of Eat-Down to the people of Springfield: “It’s my new show where I use my big-time New York City chef skills to obliterate amateur cooks.” (“Who would want such a one-sided farce?” Homer asks, before replying to Boom’s challenge with “I’m in.”)

• Boom’s monologue during the “Chowder Challenge” episode of Eat-Down: “This week I took on the Gilbert family of Portland, Maine. They’ve been making clam chowder for generations. How is that better than something I spent the day on?”

• Lisa’s interaction with the worker at Springfield’s only organic grocery store, the Raw Barn: “Thank goodness you have organic fennel. The fennel at the farmers’ market is only transitional.” “Ugh, typical. Small farmers ruining it for the really small farmers.”

• Boom’s strategy for his barbecue dish: “I’m throwing down the taste of New York City. My recipe’s infused with Times Square, the Bronx Zoo, and the Sex and the City walking tour. The Simpsons better bring their A game.”

• Homer, on Scotty Boom’s magic: “He’s got what all great chefs have: yelling.”

• Marge, explaining the Simpsons’ entry to Alton Brown: “I call this the Never Give Up Brisket. The secret ingredient is hope.” (When Alton Brown spits it out and asks, “How many spices did you put in this?” Marge replies: “All of them.”)


The 7 Best Lines From The Simpsons’ Food Network Send-up