Everyone likes free food, maybe even free food from a morally dubious chain like Chick-fil-A (which, politics aside, makes a good enough chicken sandwich). And today, July 14, the southern chicken chain is giving customers free meals, which is to say an entrée, a side, and a drink. All you have to do is dress up like a cow.
Yes, it’s all part of the chain’s Cow Appreciation Day, wherein they ask customers to arrive “fully dressed as a cow,” which is a real thing they want adults to do. And don’t think you can just show up, say “moo,” and hope for the best. Chick-fil-A is very, very specific about what it means to arrive “fully dressed as a cow”:
“Fully dressed as a cow” means effort to be dressed like a cow from head to toe. “Partial cow attire” means just a cow accessory, such as a cow-printed hat, vest or purse.
Vests and other “partial” attire, it’s worth noting, are okay but you only get a sandwich or whatever instead of the full meal, plus you’ll have to spend the rest of the day knowing you really half-assed this thing. If you’re going to do this, you may as well go all-in. Chick-fil-A is so helpful, in fact, that it even offers some tips on making your very own: “Wear white, and then just add spots. Throw on a white T-shirt with white pants (even sweatpants) and stick on your spots using black paper.”
See how easy that is? Just slap some spots on your sweatpants, waddle on over to your local Chick-fil-A, and accept your free lunch. (New Yorkers, who know that Chick-fil-A can be hard to come by in the city, should maybe just pony up the money for one of these next-level chicken sandwiches instead.)