Lactose Intolerance

A Seattle Suburb Banned All Cheese Today

Brie too.
Brie too. Photo: Shutterstock

In Bainbridge Island, Washington, elected officials took the unusual move of enacting an absolute ban on cheese in advance of Sunday’s Packers-Seahawks NFC Championship game. The temporary phase-out of dairy may be cheeky, and the decree only extends to the city hall premises and just for today, but city manager Doug Schulze says the whole thing is otherwise really serious. Here’s part of the sternly worded executive order:

“Due to the relationship between the Green Bay Packers, their fans, and cheese, the possession of and/or consumption of cheese or cheese flavored products shall be banned in Bainbridge Island City Hall on Friday, January 16, 2015.”

“The Director of each Department shall take such actions as may be necessary to implement this order” it continues, prohibiting Cheetos, curds, and especially aerosolized spray cheese. Offenders were warned that any seized contraband would be subject to grating. It’s unclear whether any errant municipal employees have been caught with cheese, but it looks like the mood inside the building is tense.

Some resident Wisconsin “cheeseheads” proposed a retaliatory ban on Starbucks, which originated in Seattle. This idea doesn’t seem to have much support.

A radio station in Milwaukee ultimately settled on banning grunge rock from its airwaves for a day, however, which seems a little easier to pull off.


A Seattle Suburb Banned All Cheese Today