Apparently Tim Hortons stands behind its hardcore no-diced-onions policy, no matter how many snakes you hurl at workers behind the counter. Police in the Canadian city of Saskatoon say two guys stopped in this morning during the breakfast rush and got into a verbal altercation when one demanded his onions get a quick chop instead of however they’re usually served — we’re going to guess sliced. The foolishly stubborn worker said no, so the customer reached into his friend’s coat pocket, produced an actual living, breathing snake, and weaponized it. “There was quite a lot of screaming going on,” police note. The employees all “fled the store in fear.” They no doubt now suffer from Post-Traumatic Snake Disorder. Meanwhile, the friendly garter snake made out all right — no injuries, and it gets to live up a cozy indoor life until spring.