Charcuterie of the Stars

‘BiteLabs’ Start-up Aims to Make Salami From Celebrities

Keanu?? Photo: Chad Colby/Mozza Facebook

Celebrities dabble in the food world all the time, lending their marquee names to everything from high-end espresso to gummy tennis rackets. But thanks to a proposed line of charcuterie manufactured by an enigmatic company named BiteLabs, we may soon be forced to differentiate between celeb-made snacks and snacks made from celebs.

The month-old startup Bite Labs announced its intention to make “curated salami blends” with lab-grown meat tissue cultured from the genetic material in celebrity stem cells. A representative for the BiteLabs tells Motherboard that each salami “will have about 30 percent celebrity meat and 40 percent lab-grown animal meats along with fat and spices.” In other words, it’s totally Paleo-friendly.

While this all might sound like hoax — Grub Street was able to trace the company to a designer and artist who studied at Brown and RISD, for what it’s worth — Slate suggests BiteLabs is “partly a commentary on food culture,” but the meat itself is all real. No word on when the salami will be available for purchase, but if the Twittersphere has its way, there will soon be James Franco- and Jennifer Lawrence- flavored charcuterie for your snacking pleasure. Pair them with these cheeses made from Michael Pollan’s belly-button cells for the ultimate human antipasto platter. Throw in some beer produced from yeast collected from Rogue Brewery’s brewmaster’s beard, and you have the makings of a feast.

Everyone Stop Everything. What Is This? [Slate]

‘BiteLabs’ Start-up Aims to Make Salami From Celebrities