Grub Guide

Where to Eat When You’re Stuck Someplace Awful

Someone get this man to a buffet!
Someone get this man to a buffet! Photo: istockphoto

Planning a photo shoot at the RMV? Arguing with the roommate you met on Craigslist over well-priced, modish goods at Target? Reporting for probation? It’s OK. You can turn even the foulest chore into a day of glory by hitting up these delicious restaurants, all close to the most horrible places in town!

Boston RMV, 630 Washington St.
If you’re depressed because your driver’s license photo makes you look like the spawn of Joan Rivers and Carrot Top, don’t despair. Eat away your sorrows in Chinatown! We’ll be stuffing our faces at cheapo newly revamped Taiwan Cafe, because poached pork intestines help us give off a healthy glow in photos. 34 Oxford St., Boston

U.S. District Court, 1 Courthouse Way
So you did something bad. Even criminals have to eat! Why not hit up KO Catering and Pies? A hearty sausage roll will run you a mere $3.50, so you can still pay off your attorney’s fees. 87 A St., South Boston

Quincy Market, 4 South Market Building
You’re with an out-of-towner who thinks that shopping at an outdoor GAP is incredibly thrilling. Naturally, you’ll want to leave the area as soon as possible. But they want seaaaafood! Drag this person across the way toward the North End, where you should work yourself into a carb coma at the Daily Catch. 323 Hanover St., Boston

Target, 7 Allstate Rd.
After loading up on scented candles and accent throws, head to Mrs. Jones on Dot Ave. for the city’s best soul food. Fried chicken can facilitate a bonding experience with just about anyone. 2255 Dorchester Ave., Dorchester

BTD Tow Lot, 200 Frontage Rd.
So you’ve been towed. Happens to the best of us. Don’t let it ruin your day. If you still have any money left over, take advantage of your proximity to the South End and make haste to the new Vejigantes for crabmeat empanadas and a coquitini. Just make sure you fill the meter. 57 W. Dedham St., Boston

Longwood Medical Area, Longwood Ave.
Your doctor has given you a clean bill of health. Huzzah! Time to load up on a cholesterol-laden cheesesteak at Pat’s Place! Their breakfast sandwiches are good, too. We’d go so far as to say it’s pretty much the only decent place to eat in the neighborhood. 15 Francis St., Boston

Market Basket, 400 Somerville Ave., Somerville
Actually, we love Market Basket. But any hardened shopper knows that you need to go in with fortifications. Do not enter hungry, thirsty, or tired. Before shopping, a stop at veggie-friendly Dosa Temple is in order. In keeping with the budget MB theme, hit up the weekend lunch buffet (starts at 11:30) and then waddle up the block to the Basket. You’ll be primed to throw elbows in the deli line, for sure. 477 Somerville Ave., Somerville

Where to Eat When You’re Stuck Someplace Awful