If You Were a Cheater, Where Would You Eat?

Do not take your mistress to Dunkin' Donuts.
Do not take your mistress to Dunkin’ Donuts.

The Globe reports the disturbing news that more than 165,000 Bostonians are members of, the “discreet dating website for married men and women.” According to the site’s (very carefully researched, we’re sure) statistics, Back Bay and Beacon Hill are the two top neighborhoods for trysters. Wealth and questionable morals, always a winning combo!

Of course, the savvy cheater conducts rendezvous in private, opting for clandestine daytime meetings in hotel rooms and tipples in dimly lit bars. Sometimes, though, an affair calls for a big night out. Maybe your spouse is out of town, maybe you’re thisclose to filing for divorce anyway, maybe your lover is tired of going to the same rancid Chinese restaurant on the edge of town and is about to expose you for a sex-crazed lout. So where to sup, under such conditions?

In Beacon Hill, the options are numerous. Our vote is 75 Chestnut, a below-the-radar little gem owned by the Cheers people. Except everyone does not know your name there, so never fear. It’s quiet. Scampo and Beacon Hill Bistro are also key possibilities, since both are connected to hotels. Wink wink.

It’s tougher to hide in the Back Bay. The trick is to dine someplace just nice enough that your plus-one will be flattered, but not so popular that the place will be jammed with people you know and seek to avoid. The late-night ramen bar at Uni (also connected to a hotel)? One of those loud dark rooms at Tapeo?

If you were a cheater, totally hypothetically speaking, in a perfect world where discovery was impossible and cuisine was crucial … where would you dine?

Top 10 Boston Neighborhoods for Cheaters [Globe]

If You Were a Cheater, Where Would You Eat?