Poor Angie. She’s so svelte! So fragile! So engaged to Brad Pitt! Which means that she needs to flesh up in time for her wedding, lest she flash that waify Oscars leg. Naturally, she did what every bride does when suffering from a troubling attack of thinness: She called Jamie Oliver for recipes.
The British chef has been summoned to provide her with “hearty yet healthy” proper meals like shepherd’s pie and sausage and mash, reports the CTV, which Pitt will dutifully prepare (“Ange never cooks”). All this because Jolie, who sometimes eats cockroaches, apparently wants to gain ten pounds for her summertime wedding (designer dresses look better with curves, of course, and Pitt likes her a bit beefier).
It’s the kind of celebrity story that we can’t possibly believe is actually true — especially since it originated in a British tabloid — but we’re going to go with it. It makes sense, anyway. They’re all pals: Jamie and Brangie are reportedly likethis because they’re all totally “down to earth.” And we think Angelina chose him because he’s looked so darn bloated lately.