Scalping tickets is, of course, a crime, and disrespectful of the artist, and a screwing of the fanbase, and so on. Unless you’re a registered ticket broker, in which case you’re licensed by the state of Illinois to commit the crime, disrespect the artist, and screw the fans. That, unfortunately, is what Next is discovering in regards to a small number of its season tickets which have begun to pop up on Ebay. As Nick Kokonas says on the Next Facebook page, “Sorry everyone… nothing we can do about those …they are legal ticket brokers. Sad but true.” He explains the legal issues involved: “Once they own the tickets – or you do – by law they are yours. I can’t simply void them or simply refund them. The filter [to keep scalpers out] would have to be before they bought them.” (Which is effectively impossible, since any scalper can employ people to buy tickets under their own names for the scalper to resell.) In the end, all Next can do is urge people not to buy from these sources: “We have spent a lot of time with legal looking over the issues and are doing the best we can.” Though one commenter has an alternative suggestion that might work: “Sounds like a job for Jack Bauer.” Dammit, Chloe, we’re freezing gorgonzola balls, we don’t have time for this!