Like it or not, Saint Patrick’s Day is upon us, and soon the streets of Philly will run green with seas of staggering and green beer-obliterated yahoos crawling their way through every Irish bar from McGillin’s in Center City to the Shamrock Pub down on Two Street. It’s doubtful that anyone in this town actually takes issue with the Irish or the celebration of their patron saint, but there are plenty who cringe at the thought of the droves of ill-mannered folks from all walks of life who turn out and drink their faces off on his feast day. To help those etiquette-averse revelers rage a little more tactfully, Grub reached out to some of Philly’s barkeeps to come up with a simple set of Saint Patrick’s Day Do’s and Don’ts. Keep reading to see what advice they had to offer.
Don’t: Make this the only day this year you go out. Go out other days so you’re not such an amateur when Saint Patrick’s Day comes around.
Do: Tip well.
Do: Make sure that silly green plastic hat you’re wearing is the only place where you puke.
Pub on Passyunk East
Don’t: Snap your fingers at me. That’s my biggest pet peeve. And that seems to be something that happens only when we get big crowds in on Saint Paddy’s Day. And don’t reach over the bar and grab my shirt to get my attention either. That’s a big no-no.
Do: Enjoy only as much Irish whiskey and Guinness as you can handle.
Do: Misbehave. We actually advocate misbehavior. We’re built for it.
Do: Leave your keys at home.
Don’t: Drink any green beer.
Do: Bring protection.
Pub & Kitchen
Don’t: Come in here wearing green beads. We have a strict policy of no beads.
Do: If you’re already intoxicated and wearing green, skip 20th and Lombard and go straight to Cavanaugh’s
Franklin Mortgage & Investment Co.
Don’t: Try to prove the myth of the Irish and their drinking prowess. There’s no rule that says you have to get completely blotto-ed.
Don’t: Drink anything that’s been dyed green. That’s just disgusting. There shouldn’t be anything artificial, either in the color of your beer or your pretend heritage.
Kite & Key
Do: Drink good beer. If you’re enjoying the beer, you’re going to enjoy the holiday.
Don’t: Pound 30 Miller Lites and throw up in a garbage can. It’s not about slamming mass quantities of beer, it’s about enjoying yourself and enjoying what you’re drinking.