• Todd English still isn’t quite sure when Olives will reopen. He says it’s been one hiccup after another. Shocking, we know. [Globe]
• Can’t say they didn’t see it coming: A customer eating a Triple Bypass Burger at a Las Vegas Heart Attack Grill location went into cardiac arrest. [Daily Mail UK]
• As if we needed more proof that Jamie Oliver has a Midas touch: More than £1 million worth of goods — including jewels, gold and original Joy Division recordings — were found in the basement of his new restaurant, which is located in an old bank. [Daily Mail UK]
• A North Carolina pre-school “forced a child to eat a school lunch and billed the parent” after it deemed the four-year old’s lunch unhealthy. Naturally, Rush Limbaugh has stepped in and blamed Michelle Obama. [Greeley Gazette]
• Vladimir Putin balls so hard: Dude’s got his own line of vodka. It’s called “Kremlin Award.” [NYP]
• More Twinkie trouble! If a bankruptcy judge approves Hostess Brands’ plans to cut workers’ health care and pensions, union members will go on strike. [USAT]
• Kellogg’s is about to buy Pringles from Procter & Gamble for $2.7 billion. That’s a lot of pops. [WSJ]
