The summer heat makes people do crazy things. In Chicago, they turn Elvis into hot-dog meat, while in Georgia, they illegally disseminate Girl Scout cookies. Over on the Internet, they write stirring defenses of McDonald’s toilets. But here in the James Weird awards, we do it all. Read for yourself straight ahead.
• A Houston woman was ejected from a diner for insulting the bartender on Twitter while waiting for a drink. She called him a “twerp” and added the hashtag #jackoff, prompting the manager, who read them from home, to come in and personally kick her out. [Eating Our Words/Houston Press]
• A Georgia man was so taken by a female Taco Bell employee that he literally took her, grabbing her in the parking lot and handcuffing her to himself. Because that always works. [Smoking Gun]
• An 8-year-old Swede “didn’t know whether to laugh or cry” when he saw that his fast-food meal included a temporary tattoo of a swastika. The owners apologized and switched it out for another, less offensive sheet of tattoos. Also, Swedish kids get tattoos with their Happy Meals? [Vasterbottens-Kuriren]
• In China, a woman tried to get a refund from a dairy manufacturer when she found a dead fly inside her yogurt, but the company rebuffed her, requesting she provide an “autopsy of the fly.” [HuffPo]
• An angry Florida man crashed his pickup truck into an area Waffle House in an (unsuccessful) attempt to kill his wife. He was polite enough to call ahead of time and warn the staff that he was planning to “kill everyone” with his truck that afternoon. [Eater NY]
• A chef in Wales got so upset when a food critic in his restaurant said his meal was “disgusting” that he threw a punch at his cook and pushed him down a short flight of stairs. The critic then told the raging chef that he was just kidding. [HuffPo]