Before anyone gets all agitated that Kiss is taking a stage dive into the cafe business, just remember this is the brand — er, band — that already has a Kiss coffin and Kiss biker shorts for sale. And really, if Toby Keith and Rolling Stone magazine get restaurants, why not one of the shilliest rock bands on earth? In fact, food and coffee really aren’t even the points at a Kiss coffeehouse. The whole thing reads much more like a multi-million-dollar gift shop that Vegas probably needs as badly as Kiss needs Vegas.
Bon Appétit reports that this well-aged rock outfit is planning to open this Sin City version of Kiss Coffeehouse in 2012, a sequel to a business that’s already been thriving in Myrtle Beach for the last five years. No one has any idea if the coffee or baked goods are any good, as the shop is strictly just an excuse to peddle more Kiss crap, slinging $12.95 bags of ground coffee with the band’s mugs on them, Kiss ketchup, Kiss coasters, bottle openers, and shot glasses that look like the rockers’ boots and cost $39.95. Even scarier, most of this stuff is labeled “Sold Out” on the website. Build it and they will come.
Obviously, a spot serving “rockuccinos” in mugs molded from the band’s own heads sounds more than a little lame (even by Vegas standards), not to mention the part about this being some sort of Satanic Starbucks with twenty-foot smoking Kiss boots at the entrance and “100-ounce guitar sippers that flash colors and play hard rock.” Gimmicky? Sure. But maybe not as gimmicky as the Kiss-themed golf course that is also about to debut. Anyway, Kiss was never about the music (man), and besides, if these dudes were trying to prove they rock, this would be a bar!
Kiss to Open Kiss Coffeehouse in Las Vegas [Bon Appétit]