The Ten Most Insulting Things Anthony Bourdain Has Said About Food Network

Anthony Bourdain: unabashed hater of Food Network. Photo: Alexander Tamargo/2011 Alexander Tamargo

As just about everyone in the world knows by now, Anthony Bourdain’s recent spat with Paula Deen and her Food Network brethren is nothing new — the chef has a long history of FN-bashing rhetoric. But it is hardly the worst thing he’s said. (Semi-Homemade star Sandra Lee has long been a target, one so easy for Bourdain he once characterized her as “low-hanging fruit.”) So we wondered: What’s the worst thing the chef has said about Food Network and its chefs? Check out our slideshow to find out who and what else in the FN universe has been the target of Tony’s wrath over the years. (Oh, and as always, everyone should feel free to put their own favorite Bourdain bons mots in the comments below.)

Earlier: Paula Deen Fires Back at Bourdain
Bourdain Disses Paula Deen, Rachael Ray

“I’ve told him to his face many times, ‘I love you and respect you. I just hate your shows.’ But compared to who’s on Food Network now, he looks like Escoffier.” —Food Network Humor
“I don’t dislike Guy Fieri, I realized, after many viewings of his cooking shows, much soul-searching at my personal ashram and many doses of prescription hypnotics. I just dislike — really dislike — the idea that somebody would put Texas-style barbecue inside a fucking nori roll.” —Medium Raw Photo: Jay West/2011 Getty Images
“But 2007 was also the year that Food Network canceled ‘Emeril Live,’ and stopped ordering episodes of ‘Molto Mario,’ a calculated break with the idea of the celebrity chef as a seasoned professional and a move toward an entirely new definition: a personality with a sauté pan.” —Times
“There’s some natural empathy for my fellow media tarts, even when they’re as silly as Guy Fieri. I look at that and think what a lot of people think: ridiculous and painful — even insulting.” —Medium Raw Photo: ozersky.tv
“​With every critical outrage — the humiliating, painful-to-watch Food Network Awards, the clumsily rigged-looking Next Food Network Star, the cheesily cheap-jack production values of Next Iron Chef America — every obviously, half-assed knock-off they slapped on the air would go on to ring up sky-high ratings and an ever-larger audience of cherished males twenty-two to thirty-six (or whatever that prime car-buying demographic is).” —Medium Raw
“​The eye-searing ‘Kwanzaa Cake’ clip on YouTube, of Sandra Lee doing things with store-bought angel food cake, canned frosting, and corn nuts, instead of being simply the unintentionally hilarious viral video it should be, makes me mad for all humanity. I. Just. Can’t. Help. It.” —Medium Raw
“The production itself — above and beyond the witless, ill-considered, just-plain stupid ‘concept’ of an Awards show where most of the awards’ went to inanimate objects (accepting the award for Best Comfort Food is … Macaroni and Cheese!!), appliances or cities (Portland’s mayor wisely did not bother to show), — the production values — were lower than whale shit.” —Ruhlman
“[Rachael Ray is] selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough.” —Slashfood
“So you’re talking someone that’s as stupid and talentless and messed up as Britney Spears cooking? Hasn’t it happened already? […]I think we have a pretty good idea what that creature would look like if that happened. It would be called ‘Semi-Homemade,’ and she has a show on Food Network already.” —Kansas City Star
“Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see.” —Ruhlman
The Ten Most Insulting Things Anthony Bourdain Has Said About Food Network