Ever wanted to brush your teeth with soup? Funny, us neither. Which is why we were kind of grossed out to read in the Daily Mail about this new British initiative from Heinz: Soup, “in a a plastic sachet that resembles a tube of toothpaste.” Yum? Right now the Squeeze & Stir tubes appear to be exclusively geared toward Brits, the same people who readily buy a product called Salad Cream. Heinz is marketing the soupy tubes as a green initiative superior to metal cans, per the Mail.
Oh, ecofriendliness, why must thy be so vile? Per a spokesperson: “The tubes can easily be popped into a handbag, briefcase or pocket to be enjoyed as a convenient lunch or snack.”
Um, huh? We’re envisioning legions of Brits hustling home from work, pockets brimming at the seams with leaky tubes of soup. Hop onto the tube (ha) for the evening commute, get a little hungry, and squeeze that thing like a can of Popeye’s spinach! Speaking of spinach, spokespeople note that the tubes offer one full serving of vegetables. As if that’s not enough, consumers will surely appreciate the “thick, velvety texture.” (They’re talking about the soup, not the tube.)
We sense a new Andy Samberg—Justin Timberlake collaboration!
Heinz Launches Soup in A Tube As A Green Alternative to Cans [Daily Mail UK]