The James Weird Awards

The James Weird Awards: Doughnut Thieves, Pancake Assault, and ‘Floor Pie’

It’s been a crazy enough week as it is, what with all the dessert-induced arson, Whole Foods rappers, and brutal bikini contests out there. Crazy isn’t a part-time job, though, and the James Weird Awards has the rest of the week’s strange restaurant news.

• A man at a child’s birthday party in Memphis took out his gun when he realized his kids didn’t get any dessert. He threatened the party’s host, shouting, “Y’all didn’t save my kids no damn ice cream and cake.” [Commercial Appeal]

• Three masked men in Massachusetts were arrested after holding up a Dunkin’ Donuts at knifepoint and running off with a bag of … doughnuts. It’s suspected that the trio thought there would be money in the bag. [Cape Cod Times]

• A man at a Cracker Barrel in Missouri was charged with assault after firing eight gunshots at another customer. Police later found out that the two men are actually cousins, which sounds about right for Cracker Barrel. [CBS St. Louis]

• A recent survey of 2,000 British consumers found that 15 percent of respondents have served dinner guests “floor pie” — or, as it’s more commonly known, “food that has fallen on the floor.” Additionally, 10 percent said they’ve knowingly fed guests expired food, and 13 percent said they’ve “accidentally poisoned themselves and their guests with their cooking.” [Reuters]

• A Florida woman was arrested and charged with battery for her part in a pancake-throwing incident at a local McDonald’s. Police records say she showed up at around 5 a.m. and proceeded to hurl flapjacks at people, apparently for no good reason. [MSNBC]

• A similar event occurred in Colorado, where a woman with an outstanding arrest warrant was taken to jail after she threw a pita at a cab driver. According to police records, “yogurt sauce spattered on the driver’s beard and face,” making a mess in the vehicle. [AP]

The James Weird Awards: Doughnut Thieves, Pancake Assault, and ‘Floor