The James Weird Awards

The James Weird Awards: Relaxation Brownies, Cheesy Casinos, and a Food-Stamp Millionaire

The past seven days have been fraught with fields of exploding watermelons and thieves who, despite being told “that’s not yo cheese,” stole nacho cheese. Yet 25,000 Big Macs later, there’s still more strange food news to report, and it’s all in the weekly James Weird Awards.

• Two towns in Massachusetts are looking to ban Lazy Cakes, a melatonin-laced line of “relaxation brownies” that have caused some children to get sick. Brand representatives are claiming that mascot Lazy Larry, a SpongeBob-like grinning brownie, isn’t intended to appeal to kids. [Gawker]

• Last week, schools were punishing kids by not letting them eat breakfast. This week, schools are punishing children by making them eat sandwiches. Schools! [AP]

• A mother in San Diego is suing the company that owns Chuck E. Cheese, claiming that the restaurant is an “entry-level casino” that promotes gambling to children. Cute, adorable gambling. [Times Record News]

• A man in Russia was arrested after police discovered him eating a human liver with a side of potatoes. This certainly doesn’t help the “gateway” vegetable’s reputation. [Reuters]

• A Detroit man is fighting to keep receiving food stamps, despite having won a $2 million jackpot in a recent lottery. “If you’re going to try to make me feel bad, you aren’t going to do it,” he told local media. “It ain’t going to happen.” [Detroit Free Press via Eatocracy]

• Bewildered police in Ohio are busy trying to catch a man who broke into a convenience store just to steal an empty gumball machine. Surveillance cameras show the thief throwing a brick through the window, then “entering and running directly to the 4-foot-tall gumball machine at the back of the store.” Detectives confirmed that the machine contained neither coins nor gumballs. [WP]

The James Weird Awards: Relaxation Brownies, Cheesy Casinos, and a Food-Stamp