So you’ve created the greatest Twitter profile of all time, collected over 40,000 followers, and finally revealed your secret identity to The Atlantic, but which of the 1,952 tweets is your favorite? According to @MayorEmanuel author, Dan Sinker, it involved Mayor Daley, a a glass dome, and some celery: “Daley f**king plucks a stalk. ‘Care for these. Let flowers bloom. Dry them. Harvest the seeds. Grind them. Mix with salt.’” The fake Mayor Daley goes on to call celery salt “our legacy.” Of course, this means a lot to us, since celery salt is the final addition to a fully loaded Chicago hot dog, which has to be one of the greatest things to have ever been invented in this city. While we are terribly sad that @MayorEmanuel has disappeared into a time vortex, we do suggest you read the succession of tweets about our city’s secret stash of celery in a glass dome on top of city hall in order. It’s f**cking touching.
Obviously, if you are offended by strong language, you shouldn’t probably start reading now. For everyone else, here it goes:
And Daley’s gesturing for me to follow him, and suddenly we’re out a window and heading up a motherfucking fire escape.
We’re on the roof of City Hall. The wind is fucking strong and the snow stings when it hits my face. Daley heads into a glass dome.
It’s so warm and beautiful in the dome–green everywhere–and the air is pungent with the smell of… is that fucking celery?
Daley fucking plucks a stalk. “Care for these. Let flowers bloom. Dry them. Harvest the seeds. Grind them. Mix with salt.”
He hands me a small pinch of powder and the sharp taste of celery salt crosses my lips. “Our legacy,” he says, and points to the stalks.
Revealing the Man Behind @MayorEmanuel [The Atlantic]