Booze You Can Use

How Not to Get Slapped or Violently Ill on St. Patrick’s Day

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Are you still sober? Good. Then you’ll want to peruse this helpful UrbanDaddy interview with legendary Boston bartender Jerry Foley, who’s seen plenty of drunken brawls and debauchery in his 42 years behind the bar at JJ Foley’s. Before swilling yourself into a stupor, do yourself a favor and read his pearls of wisdom.

On not fighting back when people grope your girlfriend:
“Her ass is gonna get pinched no matter what. Big crowds, everybody’s partying, it’s gonna happen. … It’d be worse if they didn’t pinch her ass.”

On curing that inevitable hangover:
“Best thing to do would be have a big, sloppy, greasy breakfast—sausage, bacon, some scrambled eggs. Hopefully it all stays down. And then maybe have a Bloody Mary, or a Hennessy Stinger—Hennessy, brandy and a little sweet crème de menthe. Then go to bed for three hours, and go on about your business.”

On Boston’s St. Paddy’s heyday:
It was “probably when James Michael Curley declared it a holiday in Suffolk County. Called it Evacuation Day. That was probably in the ’40s. He was mayor of Boston, and he declared it a holiday, but the powers that be at the time weren’t all Irish Catholic, so he called it Evacuation Day and got around it. Curley was a great man for the Irish.”

On avoiding blacking out before 11 a.m.:
“Drink a lot of water. Or you won’t survive.”

Finally, Foley suggests that revelers “start early and go home early.” Which means we’ll begin drinking … right about now.

Irish Wisdom [UrbanDaddy]

How Not to Get Slapped or Violently Ill on St. Patrick’s Day