The James Weird Awards

The James Weird Awards: Dog-Food Diet, McDonald’s Sex, and a Truly Naked Chef

If you’re still feeling hung-over from all the hoopla surrounding Puppy Bowl Sunday, it’s time to snap out of it. There are people out there trying to feed you coal, execute burger enthusiasts, and sneak toenail clippings into your meal. And that’s not even the half of it — stay alert for all the bizarre news in this week’s James Weird Awards.

• A new diet is making headlines in Miami Beach, where one woman has been eating dog food every day. The animal activist is hoping that her daily dose of canine cuisine will bring attention to a bill that would increase the penalty for animal cruelty. The human also offered her thoughts on the dog food: “It tastes like dog food, I’m not gonna lie to you.” [NBC Miami]

• Manila has just opened its first “maid café,” a place where Filipinos are served by women in French-maid costumes. The waitresses, some of whom wear blond wigs, are already a hit. Said one early adopter, “The servers are courteous, they’re all pretty and nice to talk to.” [Reuters]

• A Louisiana woman was charged with aggravated assault after hitting her boyfriend in the face with a frozen steak. She was reportedly trying to “cool a mixed drink” but became upset “over her lack of freezer space,” which probably means that the man was beaten with his own steak. [AP]

• After getting stabbed in the neck, a man in England saved his own life by applying a kebab to the wound. He was eventually taken to a hospital for an operation, but his salvation began at the Tasty Bitez restaurant where the incident occurred. “I instinctively whacked the kebab to my neck to restrict blood flow,” he said. “It’s pure luck I was hungry.” [Sun UK]

• Two Californians were seen having sex in a car outside of a McDonald’s store, according to a police call. Reports have not confirmed whether the couple used burger-scented candles to set the mood. [Orange County Register]

• A woman was sentenced to seven years in prison for poisoning the salsa at a restaurant. She spiked the dip because she claims that the owner had stolen her husband’s car. The stunt made a number of customers ill and precipitated $250,000 decline in revenue for the restaurant. [UPI]

• People who watched Naked Chef only to be disappointed by the misleading title will be happy to know that the real thing is coming to Hong Kong. A new cooking show will be hosted by a Chinese model who will “go shopping for ingredients fully clothed, then strip as she steps into the kitchen until she wears nothing but the see-through apron.” Said the model, “Most men don’t like to cook, but I want to get them interested.” [IOL News]

The James Weird Awards: Dog-Food Diet, McDonald’s Sex, and a Truly Naked