The James Weird Awards

The James Weird Awards: Roasted Bear, Toilet-Trained Pork, and Flava Flav’s Chicken

A lot of people have been thinking outside the bun lately. One Arizona restaurant came this close to letting its customers eat lion tacos, while Taco Bell had trouble proving that there’s beef in its beef. But this week’s craziness wasn’t confined to tortillas, and the James Weird Awards can prove it.

• A Texas man accidentally shot a 71-year-old grandmother with a gun that he forgot he had. He went to dinner wearing “a jacket that he hadn’t worn in a year” and was unaware of the .38 caliber gun in the pocket. “Oh my God,” he said when his firearm fell out and shot the elderly woman. “That’s my gun.” [KHOU]

• In an effort to curb leisurely mayhem, a McDonald’s in Lancashire, England, has placed a ban on tracksuits The new measure kicks in at 7 p.m. daily, after which point the restaurant will refuse to serve any sporitly attired teens. “We weren’t even going to eat in,” said a student forced to change into a suit and tie. “We were taking out.” [Telegraph UK]

• Revenge is a dish best served with…body hair? A New Jersey cook landed in jail after sneaking pubic hairs into a police officer’s sandwich. The cop, who had given the cook a traffic ticket a year earlier, caught on to the prank halfway into the sandwich and “sent the hairs to the state police lab for analysis.” The cook pleaded guilty after DNA tests confirmed that the pubes were his. [Gothamist]

• Taiwan has started potty-training its pigs. The country found that teaching farm pigs to use toilets leads to a significant reduction in water waste and air pollution. And the pigs don’t mind either: their survival rate has jumped by 20 percent. [Reuters]

• Rep. Dennis Kucinich is suing a congressional cafeteria over a sandwich wrap that he alleges was “unwholesome and unfit for human consumption.” The Ohio Democrat says he was wronged when an olive pit in the wrap cracked his tooth, causing him “significant pain, suffering, and loss of enjoyment.” [Gawker]

• A Minnesota bar celebrated the Green Bay Packers’ win over the Chicago Bears by roasting a 180-pound black bear in front of customers. The owner originally wanted to serve the bear meat to hungry Packers fans, but the state health department thought it was best not to. [Yahoo News]

• A Florida man was thrown in jail after stabbing another person in the eye with a fork. After leaving an altercation at a beachside restaurant, the man “went home, grabbed a fork, and told his roommate he was going to stab [his victim] for beating him up,” which he did. He now faces felony charges. [MSNBC]

• Flava Flav alerted the sleepy town of Clinton, IA, of the new fried chicken restaurant he plans on opening there. The business will be called Flav’s Fried Chicken and is set to open within the year. Ever excited, Flav already issued a warning to his future rival: “Colonel Sanders, you better watch out.” [NYDN]

The James Weird Awards: Roasted Bear, Toilet-Trained Pork, and Flava Flav’s