Yeah, the Globe’s Best of the New issue was well-written and all. But this best (and worst) hyperlocal culinary round-up from local critic MC Slim JB is downright barbed. We read this roster and cackled like Satan himself. Read on for naughty excerpts and shameless take-downs.
The Horror Behind the Mask Award: to the Brothers Andelman of The Phantom Gourmet, a local restaurant-review TV show. “Even their dimmest viewers recognize that the Andelmans are shameless whores.”
Biggest (Qualified) Surprise Award: to the new Strega Waterfront. Slim likes the place, despite the original North End location’s “hideous décor, awful website, overpriced and inconsistent food, and stale-as-yesterday’s-cannoli Hollywood-mobster theme.”
Don’t Let the Door Hit You Award: to Don Otto’s. Slim ditched Don’s after spying “rotten, moldy fruit” for sale. (For our take on Don Otto’s attitude problems, click here.)
Slim’s also dismayed by Lydia Shire: “Some imp is goading the otherwise estimable Lydia Shire to create libations like the Holiday Macaroon, a froth of coconut and chocolate vodkas, crème de menthe and cream that looks like a Shamrock Shake in a cocktail glass.” (We told you ‘bout that one here.)
And our personal favorite snippet, for worst restaurant name of the year:
Deuxave: “A delightful restaurant with great food, service, wines and atmosphere, but “Douche Ave” just comes to mind way too easily.” Thanks to that mental image, we’re changing our dinner plans tonight.
The 2010 Devil’s Dining Awards [MC Slim JB]
Also related: Posh Grocery to Residents: How Dare You Ignore Us