The James Weird Awards

The James Weird Awards: Pizza Delivery Sentences, 660-Pound Fish, and Bear Burglary

If you, like us, considered running down to Famiglia’s to buy pizza from Lil Jon, plan on being “sexy” Michael Pollan for Halloween, or wish you could do shots with Alton Brown and John Hodgman this week, you’re really going to eat up the bizarre stories that made this edition of the James Weird Awards.

• Instead of going to jail for tax fraud, the owner of Casa-di-Pizza in Buffalo, New York, has been ordered to deliver twelve sheet pizzas to the Buffalo City Mission once a week for a year. The judge chose not to mandate toppings. [WIVB]

• The Canadian government is considering a ban on KFC’s infamous Double Down sandwich. When asked, the Health Promotions Minister said, “I am not looking at any restrictions on that particular sandwich at this time, but I certainly am looking at various options to see what are the possibilities in addressing that,” which is political-speak for “probably.” The conservative opposition leader declared that he can’t wait to try the sandwich…but he’ll go for a jog afterward. [Canoe News]

• A man passed out in a Del Taco drive-through in Bullhead City, Arizona, after placing his order. The police arrested him for drunk driving and passed him off to his ex-wife to deal with. [Mohave Daily News]

• After a 61-year-old man tried to buy a meal with a stolen credit card, a Pizza Lounge employee who was “sick and tired of this type of thing,” took him outside, made him strip naked, and beat him with a pipe. When the police arrived, they arrested the victim for credit card abuse. Really? [Dallas News]

• The manager of MaRandy’s Restaurant in Savannah, Georgia, shot a grill cook in the abdomen during an argument about the cook’s work performance. Guess he wasn’t doing such a great job… [Savannah Morning News]

• A black bear imbued with super-intelligence and munchies broke into a Floridian woman’s house and stole a roast out of her freezer. After passing up a dish of cat food, he “picked up a pork roast wrapped in aluminum foil and left just like that,” the woman said. “He knew what a freezer was, he knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew there was food inside.” The bear also stole some ice pops for dessert. [Orlando Sentinel]

• A woman in Canada has filed a $300,000 suit against McDonald’s after a toilet door fell on her, fracturing four of her ribs and giving her post-traumatic stress disorder. [Yahoo News]

• A restaurant in China has become famous after the manager caught a fish weighing 300 kilograms (or 660 pounds). Three days after the catch, customers had reserved about a third of the fish’s meat. Click through for a picture of the fish. [People’s Daily]

The James Weird Awards: Pizza Delivery Sentences, 660-Pound Fish, and Bear