The San Francisco Diet

S.F. Drag Star Juanita MORE! Loves Herself Some Four Barrel, and Slanted Door

See the recipe for Juanita's meatloaf <a href=here." width=330px height=412px>
See the recipe for Juanita’s meatloaf here.

Juanita MORE! is no stranger to good eating, and she’s well known among performers and party boys in San Francisco for hosting lavish dinner parties with great food. She’s often traveling between here, New York, and L.A. DJing and hosting parties, but last week she stayed around town and submits her San Francisco Diet for us this week. It should be noted, if all the food-snobbish stereotypes about San Francisco are ever in doubt, that even our drag queens drink Four Barrel coffee with organic Straus half-and-half and have lunch at Zuni on the regular.

Monday, October 18

7:30AM: I’m out of bed early and start my day with a piece of toast topped with Massa Organics Almond Butter and Frog Hollow Farms navel orange marmalade. I brew a French press of Four Barrel Guatemala Concepcion Pixcaya coffee and pour in a big dose of Straus half-and-half. I need to wake up I have a call soon about a possible role in a reality TV show.

1:30PM: Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters is in town working on the Tales of the City musical. We head to The Slanted Door for lunch. Since it was his first time there I thought I would order some of things that I have enjoyed since The Slanted Door opened on Valencia Street in 1995. We have the daikon rice cakes, grapefruit and jicama salad with candied pecans, shaking beef and the caramelized prawns. Pastry chef and long time friend Chucky Dugo always manages to completely amuse my sweet tooth with his desserts. Though, today we go simple and have the strawberry sorbet.

6PM: I cook some traditional Puerto Rican food for two of my best friends. Pernil al horno (roast pork), arroz con gandules (rice with pigeon peas) and the classic ensalada of lettuce leaves, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers and avocado with olive oil and vinegar. My guests leave very satisfied.

Tuesday, October 19

9AM: I’m meeting an old friend for breakfast today. We head over to Farm:Table on Post Street and sit outside enjoying cappuccinos and a small plate of hard-boiled eggs with salsa verde on a toasted baguette. Great start to the day all the way around.

11:30AM: I skip an actual lunch and eat a banana on my way home from the gym. Then find myself snacking all afternoon on things in the kitchen — almonds, raisins, tortilla chips, crackers and chocolate covered Goji berries — all the while sewing my dress for tomorrow night.

5PM: I pick up my wig from Rosalie’s New Looks on Polk Street and rush over to Thai House Express on my way home and have toong gern yueng (minced chicken & vegetable stuffed pouches) and pad see-ew. Later in the evening I get to attend a private rehearsal of Tales of the City and leave there on cloud nine. Betty Buckley brought me to tears. I love San Francisco.

Wednesday, October 20

7:30AM: My little brother knocks on my door with a basket full of eggs from his Russian River chickens - and I mean literally a basket. And, just in time - I’m out of my almond butter! I make some toast, a pot of coffee and scramble two fresh eggs in butter. These eggs were literally laid yesterday. YUM.

1:30PM: I’m meeting my guest DJ for Booty Call Wednesdays — Mark Louque visiting from Provincetown — at Zuni Café for lunch. We sit down and he shares with me a new diet he started and I immediately start to worry that we won’t be able to eat lunch! We have the simple garden lettuce salad with chapons (which he doesn’t eat) and I have spaghetti with olive oil and herbs and he has their awesome Ceasar salad with white shrimp. We both decide to skip dessert. It’s just not on the diet today! [Insert sad face here.]

7PM: For dinner I pick on the pernil and arroz con gandules from Monday night. I don’t want to eat too much I need to fit into my dress for my party Booty Call Wednesdays tonight.

3AM: After partying all night in the Castro, a few friends and I head over to The Grubstake on Pine Street for some late night food. I have scrambled eggs and French fries. We share the linguica appetizer with garlic bread. And I can already tell that my stomach’s not gonna like this in the morning.

Thursday, October 21

10:30AM: I make a strong pot of coffee, take two aspirins and finish off the small box of Recchiuti Chocolates that my friend Sidekick slipped into my DJ bag last night. My hangover is starting to feel better.

2PM: For lunch today I dine with MOREboy Chandler visiting form Austin Texas at Out the Door on Fillmore Street. We start off with a steamed pork bun, and then I have the grilled marinated eggplant banh mi sandwich. Who knew I loved vegetarian food? We skip dessert — but, only because Johnny our host sent out a couple of sides which tipped us both over the edge.

6:30PM: I’ve been planning a big dinner party for Chandler this evening for the past few weeks. I’ve got a houseful and couldn’t be happier! We drink pitchers of citrus margaritas and snack on guacamole and chips. Then we polish off 6-dozen enchiladas made from one of my Aunt’s recipes (I had some help making these). All the pickles that have been in my fridge the past few weeks also get devoured. And we end the night enjoying a decadent walnut and honey tart with cream. I haven’t made this tart in years — it comes from Joyce Goldstein’s Back to Square One cookbook.

Friday, October 22

8AM: I make a pot of coffee and have a couple of buttered tortillas and head to the gym. I run a bunch of errands after the gym and arrive back home starving.

12:30PM: I make an egg salad sandwich with avocado and pickled red onions — oh god, only two eggs left. I realize I am eating it standing up in the kitchen texting the entire time. Not good. I end up not having dinner because I am getting ready for an event that evening that promises to have lots of drinks and snacks.

3:30AM: I don’t eat one single appetizer at the Stop AIDS Project’s “Queens are Wild” event but drink enough whiskey to quench the thirst of a million dying cacti. After I end my night at the Stud, my escort and I head over to the Grubstake – twice in one week! I have the Mountain Man Breakfast, which I appropriately order as the Mountain Woman – two eggs scrambled with ham and cheese, served with toast and home fries.

Saturday, October 23

11AM: My escort and I wake up from a great night’s sleep. He has to run off to work and I am out of Straus half-and-half for my coffee. I jump back under the covers and sigh – can’t we just stay in bed together for the rest of the day?

12PM: I get out of the apartment and take a walk around the block grabbing stuff for dinner at the produce market around the corner. I come home and make a quesadilla while I’m prepping. I’m exhausted from all the late-night shenanigans this week and just want to stay in and eat dinner alone.

5PM: I need something nurturing and make my mother’s favorite soup: albondigas. It’s a classic Mexican soup with a light broth, vegetables and mint-filled meatballs. It is so satisfying. I’m literally asleep by 9PM.

Sunday, October 24

8AM: I always spend my Sunday mornings with my good friend Sookie. I didn’t have much in my refrigerator today but we are totally satisfied to share an heirloom tomato and the last two eggs (soft-boiled) with arugula pesto and Wasa crackers.

12:30PM: After Sookie leaves I spend the rest of the morning working on the computer. It’s pouring down rain outside. I make myself a sandwich with Chris Cosentino’s Boccalone mortadella. I cook some fettuccine with the rest of the pesto for a friend that stops by for a visit – then I watch him eat the last piece of the walnut and honey tart.

6PM: It’s still raining - and I’ve really been enjoying it. I warm up the rest of the soup from the night before.

Monday, October 25

8:15AM I haven’t been to the store in a day or two, and I generally go to the grocery store, farmers’ market, or local produce stand every single day. But, because I have no more half and half in the refrigerator I just can’t bring myself to make coffee. I eat a banana and get ready to head to the Mission to go fabric shopping.

12:30PM: When I return home with a bag full of gold sequins, black silk velvet and some white taffeta — I’m going to be a Killer Whale for Halloween! — I make a chicken sandwich and have some Kettle salt-and-pepper chips and a Coke.

5PM: I head to Chez Panisse Café with my boy Cole who’s leaving for Europe later this week. We have been trying to get into Gary Danko without a reservation for over a month. I have the hardest time committing to a two-month-away dinner reservation, anywhere. Which is why I haven’t eaten at Frances in the Castro but that’s another story. We start off sharing a salad of rocket, celery root and beets; then have the pizzetta with chanterelle mushrooms and gremolata. We move onto our entrees, which included a chicken breast with turnips, fresh peas and chervil – then spaghetti with meatballs. I’m always on a hunt for the best meatballs whenever I see them on a menu. I fell in love with the oven-baked meatballs at Pizzeria Mozza in Los Angeles a few years back and am still having a hard time enjoying them anywhere else. But, the spaghetti was absolutely perfect. For dessert Cole and I share the chocolate pavé with rocky road ice cream (OMG) and a raspberry, quince, and vanilla ice cream bombe with meringue. I’m really going to look like a whale this weekend!!!

Earlier SF Diets: How Sommelier and Budding Winemaker Rajat Parr Eats and Drinks His Way Through Harvest [Grub Street]
Bar Star Brian MacGregor Likes a Good Slider, and Occasionally a Cocktail With Lunch [Grub Street]
The Cooking Channel’s Aida Mollenkamp Is a Girl Who Can Really Eat [Grub Street]
Timothy Hollingsworth Ate Some *Really* Spicy Sh*t in Sydney [Grub Street]
Chris Kronner Loves Sebo Almost as Much as Ryan Farr’s Burgers [Grub Street]
Where Didn’t Michael Bauer Eat This Week? [Grub Street]

S.F. Drag Star Juanita MORE! Loves Herself Some Four Barrel, and Slanted Door