The James Weird Awards

The James Weird Awards: Michelin-Starred Nipple-Twisting and Pizza Fight Club

In a world in which Thomas Keller dresses up like Superman, Groupon launches a dating service, Graham Elliot considers running for mayor of Chicago, and a bust of Kevin Bacon is made out of actual bacon, absolutely anything can happen. But we’re still shocked by some of the stuff that happens in this week’s James Weird Awards.

• A server at posh London restaurant Yauatcha claims that he was sexually harassed after he began losing weight and his tight work uniform showed off his body. “On one occasion, my nipples were popped out due to low temperature and one manager said to me it was sexy,” he said, also noting that his nipples were tweaked by customers. It’s unknown whether allowing such behavior from customers contributed to this restaurant receiving its Michelin star. [LondonNet UK]

• Police cited a West Manchester, Pennsylvania, restaurant after it was discovered to be serving too many free drinks to its patrons. In what universe is this a practice deserving of reprimand? [York Daily Record]

• After the owner of a Waterville, Maine, pizza restaurant couldn’t calm a spontaneous mêlée that broke out among his packed house of 50 to 75 guests, he called the police and shut off the lights — which didn’t help, the fights just got rowdier. Police blame the flash mob Fight Club on a Facebook group called “Get Naked,” whose page says they like “being wild and crazy which involves drinking excessively, having casual sex and … We like to wake up in the morning and say DAMN that was a good night with a smile, lol.” [KJ Online]

• A man wearing a black cape, mask, gloves, and a black wig pulled a gun out at a Subway in Boulder, Colorado, and demanded cash from the employee at the register. The employee bolted into the back room, and the masked supervillain left without incident. [ABC7 Denver]

• Two employees of a Sunnyside, Washington, Jack-in-the-Box were arrested for buying and selling drugs after they attempted a covert hand-off in the restaurant parking lot right in front of an off-duty police officer. In related news, this totally screwed over their shift manager. [Tri-City Herald]

• A Santa Barbara, California, man walked into a closed restaurant and told employees he would kill them unless they gave him food. They refused, and he hung out peacefully until police came to arrest him. [Daily Sound]

• A Kamloops, British Columbia, restaurant full of shrieking girls and extra security were disappointed when the Justin Bieber visit they were expecting turned out to be an elaborate prank by one of the restaurant’s employees. After e-mails requesting attractive servers and chicken nuggets on demand, a stretch limo pulled up carrying a 20-year-old wannabe actor who works in the restaurant’s kitchen. “I’m not Justin Bieber cute, but I’m a pretty good looking guy,” he said by way of appeasing the fans’ disappointment. [Kamloops News]

• A Louisville, Kentucky, man was arrested after a Sav-a-Lot employee spotted him shoving an entire box of chicken wings down his pants in the grocery store. [WLKY]

• A man whose real name is Harley Davidson Ironwing was sentenced to eighteen months in jail for injuring an 85-year-old man while attempting to flee a grocery store after stealing string cheese. The dairy product was — you guessed it — shoved down his pants. []

• Perhaps taking a cue from Carmen Sandiego, a band of enterprising French thieves stole an entire crop of Cabernet Sauvignon grapes, using a harvesting machine to haul out 30 tons of the fruit from a Villeneuve-les-Beziers vineyard in one night. [BBC]

The James Weird Awards: Michelin-Starred Nipple-Twisting and Pizza Fight Club