It’s 2 a.m.— do you know where your kids are? According to the Post, if they’re “beautiful girls who look a tad too young to be out past midnight,” they’re probably topless at Le Bain, the Jacuzzi atop the Standard hotel where “everyone gets naked.” Meanwhile, the Daily News (rehashing an earlier Post story) tries some fake I.D.’s out on hapless nightspots. The News interns don’t get into Tenjune (no wonder — the club is being investigated after the falling death of 17-year-old Nicole John), but they do score a drink at Bill’s Bar and Burger. Guess Steve Hanson’s secret underage shoppers need to step up their game. Anyway, if the tabloids keep running these stories, the city’s young’uns will have nothing to do other than chase Justin Bieber around.