The Other Critics

Nagrant’s NSFW Review of the Girl & the Goat

The Girl & the Goat
The Girl & the Goat Photo: Huge Galdones/

Yeah, Tamarkin and Sula loved it, Ruby called it “fresh and fun,” and Vettel crowned Stephanie Izard as America’s “sweet tart,” but what the Girl & the Goat didn’t have was a semi-salacious review from Michael Nagrant. Like an early millennium Slim Shady rising from the ashes of Eminem, Nagrant’s evil persona gets the most camera time here, and he uses it as an excuse to go on a delusional tirade at the restaurant (how else do you explain the Porsche?). We realized this wasn’t going to be your regular old review after the very first sentence: “Who names their restaurant after a bestiality porn video?” All of this makes for one of the more entertaining reviews of the Goat thus far. But did Nagrant’s evil twin like it?

Between the many double entendres, this not-quite-safe-for-work review finds Nagrant’s persona mad at being charged for bread and for not being able to talk to a very busy Izard: “You sat there all night paying attention to your cooks and tasting all the dishes that came your way. What kind of faux-humble act is that?” He lets slip that he likes the “dreamy black olive mezzalune” and the “bad-ass braised tongue with salsa verde.” But by the end he has his “face pressed up against the plate glass front window” with “Steve Dolinsky’s autographed head shot,” trying to flee from the waiter dressed in all black who he thought was a “hipster ninja about to cut me down with a Chinese star.” He gives it three stars.

Of course he loves it. But we already knew that. In his review for Sawtooth, he let slip that Girl & the Goat was a “legitimately awesome restaurant.” He just had to write a legitimately awesome review to tell us that story.

Getting My Goat [Hungry Mag]

Nagrant’s NSFW Review of the Girl & the Goat