Rants

Charlie Hallowell Talks Love and Penis Size With Guardian Scribe

Photo: Courtesy of Pizzaiolo

We’re not used to there being more than one food writer over at the Guardian besides Reidinger, thus we somehow glanced over a completely crazy profile of Pizzaiolo and Boot and Shoe Service chef Charlie Hallowell by Amber Schadewald. In the piece, Hallowell proclaims things like “I want to love the shit out of people,” and ends up shouting some stuff about how “it’s all about the size of your dick” to the confused reporter who’s eagerly jotting down every word.

We’re still not totally making the connection he’s making between wanting to love his customers and whether they think their genitalia is up to par, but here are a few more choice, philosophical quotes below.


“It’s a fucking pizza — a circle of dough with shit on top of it. But there’s something beautiful about doing something over and over again.”

“If you’ve had a fight with your girlfriend, or you haven’t been laid in awhile, or your mom’s dying from cancer and you try to throw in a log — the log will roll off the fire, maybe it won’t catch, or it lands on a pizza. When you’re not there and you’re not present, the pizza burns.”

“I feed people. I fuel people. I cook with love so people can keep living. They can go home after dinner and make love to their wife and look after their children. They can wake up a happy human being.”

“Your mom doesn’t love you. Your dad doesn’t love you. Your friends … And this is all why I promise to love the shit out of people. They deserve love and respect. The business part is for the birds.”

Hot Slice [SFBG]

Charlie Hallowell Talks Love and Penis Size With Guardian Scribe