Temporary Closings

Stella Stove Cracks Under Pressure of Impending LaBan Review?

It seems that Pizzeria Stella’s all-important pizza oven has fractured, forcing the restaurant to close while it’s being repaired, although Stella’s website says it’ll reopen on Thursday. Now let’s put on our tinfoil hats and ponder the timing of this busted oven.

Guess what comes out this Sunday? Inquirer critic Craig LaBan’s review of Stella. An unfortunate coincidence, perfect timing or a goofy theory floated by a blogger on a slow news day?

Let’s consider the evidence: LaBan has never met a Starr restaurant he didn’t like, so between that and the generally positive reception Stella has received from other critics, it’s safe to assume he’s going to feel warmly toward the pizza. Let’s also remember that LaBan is a known entity in the Starr Restaurant Universe, which means he was most likely spotted and slavered over during his visits, upping the chances for a good review.

So maybe the pizza oven is not only being repaired, it’s being enlarged, in anticipation of the hordes? Maybe a second pizza oven is being delivered? Maybe Craig LaBan flung his pizza pan across the counter and cracked the oven himself!

We’ll take off our tinfoil hat now and stop being silly. But we sure did have fun thinking about it for a while. And writing that headline!

Stella Stove Cracks Under Pressure of Impending LaBan Review?