The Other Critics

LaBan Not a Fan of Parker’s Prime

In his final review of the year, Inquirer critic Craig LaBan delivers a stocking full of coal to Newtown Square steakhouse Parker’s Prime. Not only were his steaks improperly cooked, one “crass” waiter so deeply offended our fair critic that his hard-sell service style, poor grammar and halitosis were called out in detail:

The $40 “zabuton” cut of Wagyu beef, he said, was so sublimely marbled from its famously pampered breeding, “I want to marry a Wagyu wife to feed me beer and give me massages.”

As for Parker’s “least nicest” cut, the $24 bargain flatiron steak?

“In my opinion,” he confided, leaning in with a burst of fetid breath, “the flatiron sucks!”

And apparently, so did the service. One bell for Parker’s Prime.

Parker’s Prime [Inquirer]

LaBan Not a Fan of Parker’s Prime