Celebrity Settings

Jeremy Piven: Enemy of the Sea

Short, unpleasant actor Jeremy Piven was cleared yesterday of skipping out of a production of David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow because he ate too much sushi and was “pretty crippled” from mercury poisoning. It was a sad day for fish, and the world’s oceans rose an inch owing to all the fish tears shed.

As Gawker reported, an industry association (for fishermen, not fish) called the National Fisheries Institute defended the very sad sea creatures:

Despite the fact that the arbitrator ruled in Piven’s favor, NFI cautions reporters and editors to continue to treat Piven’s statements with skepticism. It is important to note that no peer reviewed medical journal has ever published any evidence of a case of methylmercury poisoning caused by the normal consumption of commercial seafood in the U.S. This ruling does not change that simple scientific fact. It is also important to note that Piven previously claimed to have been diagnosed with the Epstein-Barr virus during the first week of rehearsals, a claim that has curiously be absent from most news coverage.

That is important to note. Duly noted. Another direct hit for NFI’s Truth Squad.

Jeremy Piven: Enemy of the Sea