Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the ad lads behind the the King and BK Flame (which, by the way, isn’t the most tasteful thing to run next to a story about deadly fires), have created a new character for Domino’s, the “Secretary of Taste.” The spots for Domino’s Pizza’s new “American Legends” pies (which include such potential atrocities as the Philly-cheesesteak pizza — combining provolone and American) debut today, on the heels of Obama’s stimulus-package press conference (yes, the Secretary of Taste is touting a “taste stimulus package” of his own. What, no “pork” jokes?). After viewing (“Whether you’re some yoga babe who digs tasty veggies or a lumberjack craving steak and 40 percent more cheese,” says Sir Secretary, “Ask not what your crust can do for you. Ask if it has cheese on it”), we’re going to declare this one a FAIL. In the political parlance, you, sir Secretary of Taste, are no King.