Shill-o-Meter: Texas de Brazil

Your average MenuPages user review, while informative and entertaining, rarely deviates from a set formula. 99% of the reviews we see stick to some combination of the following topics: (1) the food, (2) the decor, (3) the service. Rarely do we see a review that completely fails to address any of those components with any specificity, but does go on for a number of paragraphs about lesser-known components of the restaurant experience, the sorts of things that might get bodies in the door.

So what comes across the wire for Texas de Brazil? Oh, this:

Wonderful food, ideal location, great ambiance, amazing service. TdeB really, really impressed me. I especially liked that our main waiter let us know ahead of time that their meats are cooked in a particular seasoning mix, but they would be willing to prepare it however we liked, we just needed to give them time to make it up special. How is THAT for service.

Oh hey, way to talk up the experience to the “Too Scared To Try Brazilian Seasonings” demographic! Though, to be fair, we have dated enough picky eaters to know that this is in fact a major selling point for some people (who we will never date again).

But what can we include in this user review that might persuade recession-wearied diners to leave their homes in order to drop a wad of cash on unlimited swords of meat? OH HEY.

This is definitely a place I will be going back to. I would recommend people sign up for their email program, they don’t send you email every day or even every month, but you will receive coupons. I received 50% coupons for their grand opening and they were good for up to 6 people. I also have a 20% off coupon from them that is good on their new lunch menu. Again, good for up to 6 people at a time. And since they are only serving dinner all day on Thanksgiving they will honor the 20% off. Again, THAT’S service. I’m taking my entire family for Turkey day to avoid the stress. And I figure we will likely break even on the cost. And, though we won’t have the leftovers, we also won’t have the clean up or the time spent in a hot kitchen, or the risk of burned/inedible food.

Backdoor offer of coupons! Rationalization of the expense of a restaurant dinner! Minimization of the inherent pleasures of cooking a meal for your family! Also we seriously deeply truly do not believe for one second that there are people who actually took their families to Texas de Brazil (oh, the “reviewer” shortening the name to TdB was another giveaway) for Thanksgiving. Sure, there might have been bodies in seats on Thursday. But we assert that they were mere phantasms.

Shill-o-Meter rating (on a scale of 1 [lightly seared] to 10 [burned to a lump of coal]): 9.

Texas de Brazil [MenuPages]
Texas de Brazil [Official Site]

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Shill-o-Meter: Texas de Brazil