I Am Impervious

It’s possible that Cafe Gratitude — the raw vegan restaurant with the self-affirming menu items — is low fruit for teasing. But if you thought the restaurant wouldn’t take that very fruit, cut it up into a bowl with rice, and charge you $10 while calling it “I am regular,” you’re wrong.

So we didn’t mind a bit when, in SFist’s poll asking which local business its readers would actually like to see fail, Cafe Gratitude represented a huge share of the vote. Especially funny was this comment:

I’d like the pesto pizza.

The what?

The pesto pizza.

I’m sorry, you have to say it.

No.

Look, if you don’t say it, you won’t get it.

Okay, fine. I’d like the I Am Fulfilled.

You ARE fulfilled!

Fuck you.

The thing is, for all the ire it raises in those allergic to patchouli, Cafe Gratitude is not hurting. They’ve been steadily expanding, and continue to thrive even as stalwarts like Sumi bite the dust. So why hasn’t the economic Nothing gobbled up this annoying sprite?

We’re guessing it has to do with the fact that CG offers a cuisine that, while more available here than in other cities, is still rare enough that if you can do it well, you’ll necessarily get business. And they do seem to do a pretty good job. Finally, owners Matthew and Terces Engelhart may put on a hippy dippy act, but they’re actually quite sharp business-people, with a few published books, a line of flax clothing, and a fairly booming trade in workshops on, um, Abundance.

So yeah, SFist readers might be a vocal (and hilarious) anti-Grati contingent, but it’s going to take more than a handful of net-savvy disgruntled Santa Cruz refugees to derail the express train of CG’s success. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next gloomy year, as it does not seem there is a space on the menu for an item called, “I am Unemployed and Broke.”

Wish Your Were Dead: The Poll [SFist]
Cafe Gratitude [MenuPages]
Cafe Gratitude [Official Site]

[Photo: Via wrestlingentropy/flickr]

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I Am Impervious