We haven’t been able to tear ourselves away from the fascinating OCD diet, to which we were directed by Coldmud. It’s absolutely disgusting, but so amazing: The only requirement is that all foods rhyme, so you get meals like waffles with offal and lamb’s heart treacle tart. Now, why it has to be stuff like that, when you could have, say, steamed greens and pinto beans, or scrambled eggs and chicken legs or something else vaguely disappointing but not necessarily gut-wrenching, we couldn’t say. It certainly wouldn’t be as hilarious.
As it is, the diet seems to have worked, most likely because it’s impossible to eat too much of things like ham, spam and jam flan, described thus:
This dish is a real winner in terms of rhymability. It also looks pretty awesome if you put a little effort in - and pardon me, but who the fuck knew Spam smelt so damn good!?! Sadly it tastes like shit. It’s also missing vegetables, again (I really wanted to add a yam, but they don’t sell them at Tescos). I just about managed half a flan before I began to feel physically ill.
But this got us thinking, could you do the same exercise at restaurants? It seems you’d have to rhyme your food with the name of the restaurant, in order to keep the same cadence as OCDD’s dishes. So, one could live on burritos from El Farolito, while waiting for Spruce to start serving goose. Unfortunately, though, this does not seem like an effective way to reduce (sorry).
[Photo: Via The OCD Diet]