In the year 2200, when historians are looking back to the 2000s to figure out what made us tick, we sincerely hope that they think of doing a study of eBay. Actually, scratch that — looking at eBay would only make them ten million times more perplexed about what our civilization was like. Why’s this? Because what people will buy and sell on eBay is insane, particularly when it comes to food stuffs.
We saw something recently about buying good vanilla beans and chocolate on eBay for bargain-basement prices. This seemed reasonable enough, but after some poking around, we spiraled down a rabbit hole of pre-made cakes and the like. Then, we had the idea of looking for other foods on eBay, so without further ado, some important findings.
1. George Bush is toast. “This is an original George Bush toast portrait burned into premium potato bread! This is a very unique tribute to our 43rd president.”
After the jump, more eBay food finds, all three of which are a harrowing looks into what people will try to sell.
2. Man-shaped Cheetos. “You are bidding on a cheeto that is shaped like a man singing one way and when you turn it, it looks like it is boxing. It is as big as a quarter. this cheeto has not been altered in anyway. The story behind this is i packed my daughter cheetos for her lunch and she found it in her bag.”
3. Sweet potato hippopotamus. “This item is a sweet potato that formed in the general shape of a hippopotamus. It is presented exactly as it was harvested (minus a tiny tail which fell off during the process). The photos below are of the actual item you will receive.”
4. Eagle-shaped bacon. “Here is the oddest item I have ever sold on ebay. It is a piece of bacon that I fried this morning. Notice the patriotic shape of our nations American Eagle.”
There are no words.