And the Winner of the Cupcake Contest Is…

Photo: From the book Hey There Cupcake (Melcher Media 2004)

To defend cupcakes and not have to wait in line for a Magnolia Bakery T-shirt, Grub Street readers employed everything from haiku to syllogisms to photos of “Obamacakes.” The great majority of you lauded cupcakes because they “are to cake as sliders are to burgers,” meaning they’re easier to split, tote around, and clean up — and there’s usually a wider variety to choose from. (By the way, cupcakes and burgers? Not a good business model.) Of course there was no shortage of nostalgia — on the happy side, memories of grade-school parties; on the sad side, commenter Aaron’s touching tale of Nana passing away with frosting on her lip. And then there was the bizarre: “Put two over your eyes and you can do a FLY imitation (a little messy but still the fly),” or “Cupcakes are the original Hobbit food.” And the slightly perverse: “Leave a trail of cupcakes leading your lover from the front door to the bedroom (or kitchen) hehehe. It would be sure to lead to some happy naked fun times yay!” Many noted that cupcakes put a smile on your face (all the better when it’s a kid’s face), but these were the two entries that put a smile on ours.

The first, from Hipsterhottie:

Because on a bad day a cupcake is like rainbows, sunsets, unicorns and all things lisa frank wrapped into the most scrumptious piece of mouth watering heaven one can have by taking just a single bite. The sprinkles make it all worth it!

And the winner:

If it comes to a choice,

Oh! I’ll raise my voice

In affirmative noice

For cupcakes! Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

When just out of bed

Too sleepy to spread

Jam or butter on bread,

Give me cupcakes! Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

No thinking needed!

Don’t have to be heated!

Nutritionally completed

Are cupcakes, Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Cake may very well be

Great for afternoon tea,

But always for me

It’s cupcakes! Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Sweetly perfect to munch

As a snack after lunch —

You could eat a big bunch

Of cupcakes. Cupcakes Cupcakes!

Plus — no need to share

There’s not enough there;

They are one-person fare —

Sweet cupcakes, Cupcakes Cupcakes!

So lovably little!

Sometimes fluff in the middle!

Cupcake Love is no riddle!

Yummy cupcakes, Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Hey, you gotta appreciate that enthusiasm. And so, Versette, e-mail us so we know where to send the shirt. The rest of you, know that your e-mails softened our hearts just a smidge. We’ll return the favor with still more cupcake intel.

Earlier: Sell Us on Cupcakes and We’ll Give You This Ridiculously Cute Shirt

And the Winner of the Cupcake Contest Is…