Martignetti Madness

Pressing Concerns: ‘Is Martignetti’s Ousting the Bro?’

Bros will be bros: Martignetti and James Willis.
Bros will be bros: Martignetti and James Willis. Photo: Courtesy of Southside

Remember when Anthony Martignetti told us, regarding Southside, “We’ve told our doorman to stay away from the young, straight-out-of-Middlebury/Trinity crowd”? Well, the guys at BroBible are like, “Dude, WTF?” We can’t read their posts in their entirety because, despite our studies in manthropology, we aren’t members of the “brommunity,” but subject lines like “Is Martignettis Ousting the Bro” show a deep concern that Bar Mar has initiated a veritable brolocaust. What follows has to be one of the funniest things we’ve ever read.

That Martignetti dude is a duesche [sic]. He’s been a dick to me before when I’ve been spending SHITLOADS of money putting shitloads of money into his pockets. I hate when dudes are dicks to me. But I actually have to respect him: For the following reason. I think you might too: dude went to trinity. trinity’s trinitiest sorority (ivy) shows up for their annual NYC get-together dressed in daddy’s money, ready for a preppy time at the preppiest spot in manhattan. Rolling 30 princesses deep. you…

Oh, how we wish we could read the rest of it. Here’s a more favorable take on Martignetti:

Who is responsible for my actions while I am intoxicated? I know it is not me, but who is it? PG example: Last night after crushing martignettis late night — incredible kettle/waters (shout out to Dennis), and I dig the new arena and the spicy birds giving it their all in an attempt to lock down a consistent platinum Amex for the winter hibernation period — I strolled over to my SoHo hideaway to prepare for another day of money making. I was searching for my vegetable powder when I opened one…

Again, we’ll never know how this post ends (heck, we’re not even sure how it begins — it’s not really in English??), but its tags are “suede,” “Q,” “nutella,” “martigenttis,” and “girls.” Who could ask for anything more in life?

Martignetti’s Ousting [BroBible]

Responsibility [BroBible]

Earlier: Anthony Martignetti and James Willis Offer a First Look Into Southside, Opening Tomorrow

Pressing Concerns: ‘Is Martignetti’s Ousting the Bro?’